Why It’s So Damn Important to Heal Your Relationship With Money, With Allyson Byrd (Episode 65)

Melyssa Griffin

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Welcome back to Limitless Life™I know it’s been a couple of weeks since we’ve last chatted, but I decided to take two weeks off from promoting our podcast and sharing new episodes because I really wanted to give voice to the black educators and creators, especially during a time like this.

This week won’t be the last time you hear me talk about Black Lives Matter, and you’ll hear how we as a team are incorporating anti-racism in our business moving forward (stay tuned for an episode coming next week to hear more on what we’ll be doing).  

Today I’ve got a really special episode for you, which is an interview with a dear friend of mine named, Allyson Byrd. We recorded this talk a couple of months ago now, but I’m really excited to share her wisdom with you because Allyson is someone who has such a way with words and communication that she motivates the heck out of those who hear her!   

Also known as the “Profit Accelerator™”, Allyson is the first and only small business owner to create an international production house for thought leaders to be executive produced in publication, online platform expansion, and offline sales strategies. In the past 8 years of being in business, Allyson has worked with over 3,000 entrepreneurial thought leaders, helping them create over $105 million in new revenue.  

Our conversation here really centers around her thoughts and wisdom as it pertains to money and wealth, and as always, I was blown away by Allyson’s insights and expertise. I have a feeling you are going to love what she has to say.  

Listen to the episode below:

This episode discusses topics like…

  • The common money beliefs that Allyson sees are holding people back
  • How we can start letting go of the taboo of being “rich”
  • Why people, particularly women, are staying “stuck”
  • The way most of us make decisions that exit us out of pain – and what we should be doing instead
  • What to specifically pay attention to as you’re growing
  • Allyson’s thought process behind “service versus selling”
  • The powerful ways in which your words can change your life 

 By the way, I created an entirely free, 5-day at-home digital retreat called Limitless Entrepreneur. It’s all about creating a new income stream in less than a week, as well as reprogramming the beliefs that are keeping you from a no-limits business and life. Click the image below to sign up, it’s free!
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Did this episode help you expand what’s possible for your life or business? Do you think your social media followers may learn something, too? I’d be forever grateful if you shared it on social media. 🙂 If you do, tag @melyssa_griffin and @limitlesslifepodcast so I can repost you! Woohoo!

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this episode. What is your relationship like with money currently? How would it change your life (and business) to be more mindful of the way you think about money?

Thank you SO much for being here, sweet friend. I’m honored to walk this journey with you. See you in the next episode!

xoxo
Melyssa

Read the Episode Transcript Here

Melyssa
I’m Melyssa Griffin. And while I was in my 20s, I turned a hobby blog into a multi million dollar company. Now what I’ve discovered after working with thousands of entrepreneurs is that the greatest thing standing in the way of success isn’t another business tactic or marketing strategy. It’s your own mindset. Now, I believe that you’re meant for more than just the status quo. So on this show, you’ll feel like you’re sitting down with a friend who’s here to help you transform your fears and roadblocks into a truly limitless version of yourself. It’s time to upgrade your life and business from the inside out. Let’s do this.

Hey there and welcome back to limitless life. I know it’s been a couple weeks since we’ve last chatted, I decided to take two weeks off from promoting our podcast and sharing new episodes because I really wanted to give voice to black educators and creators, especially during a time like this. And this won’t be the last that you hear me talk about Black Lives Matter and we are incorporating anti racism in our business moving forward, I’m actually going to be releasing a pretty extensive plan on how we as a company, me as an individual plan to embody anti racism and social justice into our mission moving forward. So stay tuned for that episode coming next week. But today, I’ve got a really special episode to share with you. So this is actually an interview with a dear friend of mine named Allyson Byrd and we recorded this a couple months ago now I think, but I’m just really excited to share her her wisdom with you. She is somebody who has spoken at my mastermind she spoke at my membership that I used to have, and I just have a loved following her and her work because you will see as you listen to this episode,

So that she just has a way with words. She just knows how to get to the heart and soul of what’s important in life and how to communicate in a way that motivates the heck out of you. After she spoke at my mastermind retreat, I think everyone was literally just blown away by everything that she said. And the way that she says it to do just speaks with such conviction that it really hits you right in the heart of your soul. I also recently celebrated her birthday with her in a virtual way she had this virtual birthday brunch. And, as always, Allyson brought the wisdom and I want to share a few of the things that she said she spoke at this birthday brunch and invited us all to think a little bit more deeply. And I really loved a lot of the things that she shared. So I want to share some of those with you. One of them was that she said I’m going to lift as I climb, and I thought that was so profoundly beautiful. And what she meant by that was that as she reaches higher and higher and higher in her business in her life, strives for more accomplishes more. It’s not all about her. Really. It’s about uplifting her community, her friends, the women around her. She lifts as she climbs so that she can share the success that she has with other people. She doesn’t leave anyone behind. And she absolutely exemplifies this in her life and the way that she shows up. So I’m going to lift as I climb. That was one thing she said that just really stood out to me. She also said, most people are born originals, but die copies. Most people are born originals, but die copies. I thought that was so profound to that. At our core, we are original, unique, innately special and yet because we follow the status quo, and because we do things we think we should do, we end up dying a copy of somebody else, somebody else’s programming somebody else’s expectations for who we have to be in the world. So I thought that was a beautiful invitation to have How can I maintain My own originality How can I maintain who I am in my alignment, instead of being a copy of somebody else or society or culture? And then something else you said that I wrote down in which, you know, you’ve got good people in your life when you’re taking notes at their birthday party, because the things that they say are so profoundly wise. But something else that she said was, be around people who inspire you to live in your purpose, not perfection. Yes, right. Don’t we all need that we need to be around people. We need to be conscious of the people who are around us. So that we’re being inspired to live in our purpose and our mission and our originality and who we are in alignment with ourselves versus feeling like we need to live up to this expectation or perfection of who we think we need to be. So as you can tell, she’s an amazing human and I love what she has to say. You’re gonna love her too. So Allyson Byrd, if you Haven’t heard of her. She is also known as the profit accelerator. And so what she does is she helps thought leaders and influencers, to expand their platforms using her sales strategies. So she helps them create bigger platforms get their message out there in a bigger way. And she’s also celebrated as one of the world’s most trusted leadership advisors and sales experts for entrepreneurs and small business owners. So in the past eight years of having her business, she’s worked with over 3000 entrepreneurial leaders, and helped them to create over 100 and $5 million in new revenue, which is pretty incredible. So she’s got a lot of experience both helping people to create a lot more revenue and money in their business. And she also has such an abundant mindset and an abundant way of thinking and speaking about money. So this conversation that we’re about to have really centers around her thoughts and wisdom as it pertains to money and wealth. We talk about the word rich and why it’s such a taboo word. We talk about why it’s important for women to have more money in the world. We talk about so many things that center around our relationship with money, and why it’s vital that we heal that relationship if we want to move forward in our lives if we want to get to the next level if we want to make a bigger impact. So I am as always blown away by her wisdom and expertise, and I have a feeling you’re gonna love what she has to say, too. So, without further ado, let’s dive in and learn more about Allyson Byrd. And the wisdom that she’s got to share with us.

Hey, Allyson, welcome to the show.

Allyson
Hey, girl, you ready to play?

Melyssa
Oh, I’m ready to rock. I’m excited. I know you bring the fire because you just recently spoke with our mastermind and just blew people’s mind. So, I know we’re gonna get into some good stuff today. So I know that you are an expert on money mindset, you just have such a way of shifting people’s beliefs on money. So what before we get into all the nitty gritty? What are some of the common money mindset beliefs that you see people have that are stopping them from having a successful life or even enjoying the money that they do earn?

Allyson
You know, that’s a good question. I think that the biggest thing that I experience is that money is often the left behind topic, because so many people want to do so much work first before they get to the money. So they think that it’s almost like if you want to lose weight, if you want to lose weight, there are really only two ways to lose weight. A, move your body, B change your food, right and if I go to the gym every day

But I leave the gym and I go to McDonald’s or Burger King or in and out or whatever my, you know, food of choice is I’ve just sabotage exactly what I just said I wanted for myself. And I experienced so many people to sabotage their relationship with money through so much effort through zero commitment at all, to learn about their relationship with money. The biggest thing that I asked anyone, when they’re like, well, I want to change my money mindset is I say, Well tell me how much your parents earned a year. Are your parents still working? How much do they earn a year? And then how much did your grandparents earn? What was the highest? And then what about your great grandparents? If you can’t go three generations back with an understanding? You don’t know your upper limit yet? So if you’re trying to say I want to be a trillionaire, and you don’t even understand what’s been in

The fabric and the DNA of your family history. You don’t know what you’re coming up against. And that’s whether you’re white, you’re black, you’re male, you’re female, you’re us, you’re UK, you’re, you know, on another continent, it doesn’t matter. You’ve got to know those details in order to create expansion. If you don’t know your historical past, you do not have the footprint, the data to be able to claim what’s your future and what your vision will look like. So I you know, that’s where I like to start people, huh? And that’s brilliant, too. I tell people to have like when they’re trying to think about what are their money stories? What’s their money mindset? It’s like, what how did your parents talk about it when you were growing up? What things do they do? Even subtle things like when you’re at the grocery store, what was their story? How are they talking about things? But I love the idea. I’ve never heard anyone say that way. Go back three generations, not even just to your parents, but your entire lineage because all this stuff just gets passed down more and more.

Melyssa
If we’re not breaking the cycle, then we’re committing to it. So I really love that perspective. Now I know that you before we started the interview you said I want to talk about the word rich and I loved that you said that because that is such a potent and taboo word in our society. So tell me why it’s so taboo and and how do we let go of the taboo connotation of the word rich?

Allyson
Well, okay, this is juicy. So I believe that note takers are moneymakers. So if you’re listening to this, and you’re walking, you’re listening to this and you’re washing dishes, you’re listening to this in your, you know, on a run or riding in the car, you’re going to want to come back to this and listen, I also believe that repetition is the mother and the father of our learning and of our understanding. So my as I answer this for you, I want to kind of preface this by telling people, you’re going to want to return back to this and then I’m going to use evoke curiosity for you here. So my invitation is not that you think like I think or you believe, like I believe, but that I, through my words invite you to think about what you’ve been thinking in your relationship with money and with the word rich. So what I experienced Melyssa is number one, the average female entrepreneur salary is $63,000 a year. So we hear this conversation that you can be a, you know, six, multi six, seven, multi seven figure entrepreneurial leader, but the average entrepreneurial woman that’s out there is not even busting 100 K. So I think it’s really important that we identify that I think it’s important that we understand that money is a significant stressor for women, and it’s showing up you know, financial provisions, stability, access money.

Words are showing up in chronic illnesses, work overload, long hours, tense relationships, I have more people that have come to me with alopecia, the loss of hair, fibromyalgia, pain in their body, arthritis, things like that, because they are worried about money, those types of auto immune diseases that show up. So we’ve got to deal with the fact that you really are thinking about money, whether you want to say you’re thinking about money or not. So what women tell me all the time is, you know, I don’t really want to be rich. Allyson, if I ask 10 women, nine out of 10 are probably going to tell me, no, you know, not really interested in being rich. And I say, Okay, well, what do you want? Well, I just want to be comfortable. Okay, what else do you want? Well, I would really just love If I could buy my time back. Okay. Anything else?

Yeah, I mean, I don’t want to be rich, but I would love to pay off my debt. Hey, what about your house? Oh, you know what? I’d like a new house. That would be nice. Okay, car, you know, a nice reliable car. And I’m like custom Ferrari No, no, no, just you know, like an Audi. A, you know, okay, a nice reliable car. You know, it’s pretty expensive car, but okay. What about kids? Do you have kids? Are you gonna have kids? Yeah. What about their college tuition? Yes, I want them to go to a good college. Okay. Parents, are you close to your parents? Or do you have anyone that’s in a parental role that you really love and value and you’d like to do something significant for them? Oh, yeah. I’d love to do something nice for my parents, you know, maybe pay off their home or, you know, make sure they have a comfortable life. What about siblings? Do you guys get together for the holidays? Yeah, we do. When was the last time you Got them something really nice, you know, we typically do kind of like you know, a cap on how much we spend to get them something nice. Okay, vacations, vacations. What would you like to do? You know, I love to go to Disney. I love to travel to Phuket. I’d love to go to see you’d like to go to some exotic places. Yeah, but you know, maybe just once or twice a year. I’ve never done that. That would be really great. Okay, so just getting clear here. Don’t want to be rich. Just want to be comfortable. Just want to buy your time back. Just Want to Have a nice reliable car, which by the way, what you described was a luxury vehicle. You’d love a new home you’d love for that. To be a custom home. You’d love to have real wood floors in your home. You’d love to buy something more expensive than just Westtown, more Pottery Barn for your home. But you don’t want to be rich. You want to take care of your parents. You want to get nice gifts for your siblings. What about your dream? Do you have a vision of writing a book? Yeah. Would you want to do a tour for your book? Yes. Would that require press? Yes. Oh, so you’d have to pay the publisher.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I’d have to do that. What about any work in third world countries? Do you have any desire to do any work? Oh, you know what clean water is important to me. Even in my inner city, I’d love to do some inner city work. There’s food shortages. Okay, so let me just be clear, sis. You don’t want to be rich.

That’s what I come up against all the time. I don’t want to be rich. And here’s the thing, the lesson that I get, there’s so much emotional pain that comes with the idea or the perception of being rich. For many of us, we subconsciously believe that riches like some filthy hybrid of greed and distance from those that we love. We think it’s going to make us unrelatable we think it’s going to detach us from family and friends. And so, you know, what has happened for us is that settling has become a universal language that is just buried in everyday life of just enoughness and what’s happened for us is that there’s a negative perception on rich, and we don’t want to be unrelatable misunderstood or distanced from those that we love. So we have all these hidden resistances to money that allow other partners then to take steak in our lives called scarcity, lack fear, deprivation and overwhelm. So the first thing that we’ve got to do is change our mindfulness around the word rich around our association with wealth around our conversation with wealth and more than enough, and that’s where we’ve got to have a beginning or starting point. And then from there, we can evolve in our money mindset.

Melyssa
So well said I love the way that you described all of those things, too, because I think words are so important. Like the words that you use, we should be constantly defining what they actually mean because we throw them around like They don’t matter. We think rich is a bad word because of the connotation, but then when you actually start to investigate it, it’s like, actually, yeah, I do want to be rich because of all the things I would get to do and having create and be. And it’s actually not such a dirty word. It’s actually just the connotation that’s been applied to it. And what you’re saying to brings up this, this thought that a lot of us feel like we’re afraid of failure, when in reality, we’re afraid of success. We are often more afraid of succeeding than we are of not being able to create things. And I think that’s such a fascinating take that you’ve described on what it means to be rich and why we’re avoiding it.

Allyson
Well, I think that the fear when people say I’m afraid of success, what I know instantly is that they haven’t defined success. And because if I say to you, define success, what would it look like for you to be thriving in life and you answer to me, I would have a healthy body partnership where I was abundant in love and being touched. And I walked in my home and I felt celebrated and honored. If you described to me that in my business, my voice would be heard my work would be meaningful, my contribution would be necessary and have a ripple of global impact. If you said that being successful meant that your body felt good and that you stretched yourself and put yourself to physical heights that you never could have imagined if you said to me, that your relationships were ripe and honest and authentic and that would be successful for you. If you start saying those things fear will dissipate through the clarity. So to me, you are only afraid of something when you are not positioning yourself to understand it. So for anyone that It is a place or space where you feel like you fear something right now, ask yourself, what is it that would really occur? If it transformed? When you write that down, take yourself 10 steps further and write 10 more things go just a bit deeper. Like my trainer tells me, when I do a hard move, she goes, Does that hurt? And I say yes, she goes, love the burn, hold it for 10 more seconds. So if you can take yourself 10 steps deeper into understanding the fear will dissipate through your clarity and you will give yourself permission to take one step in the direction of the thing that you were scared of.

Melyssa
Hmm, not so well said. I love that because otherwise, it’s just this sort of esoteric thing outside of ourselves. And we’re like, putting so much fear and emotion inside of it. When in reality, if we just define it and break it down, it’s a lot more simple. It’s a lot more. feels a lot more doable. and easy to attain. I love the way that you describe that and thinking about the word rich. So you describe all these things that we can have and create and do. What about for people who are afraid to even say that they want those things because I come across a lot of women who are afraid in general to want more. They’re afraid to say they want a nicer house afraid to say I want a nicer car, I want to make more money. I want to send my kids to a private school like they’re afraid of wanting more, and so they stay exactly where they are. Why do you think this happens so often, and especially with women?

Allyson
You know, I am a super fan of the spiritual teachings of Abraham. A lot of people have read kind of the law of attraction, understanding your vibrational energy living in the vortex, those kinds of things. And one of the things that the teachings of Abraham says to us is that the only reason that’s something you want is not coming to you Is that you are holding yourself in vibrational harmony with something other than what you want. And what I know is that I grew up, my mom was a single mom. My story was not unique. I grew up in the 80s young black girl in the south. My dad was in prison that also wasn’t unique. Lots of black girls, dads were in prison in the 80s, unfortunately. And I did not grow up Melyssa, with the practice of getting what I wanted.

Because if my mother conditioned me that I could have what I wanted, that wasn’t going to work for our lifestyle, because my mother majority of my life averaged about $15,000 a year in her salary. So I grew up with this thread that I couldn’t have what I wanted, I could have What was available? As a matter of fact, when we went to other people’s houses, we got a lecture before we walked in, don’t ask for anything you don’t see.

So there was this conditioning. My mother’s intention was to support me to have good behavior. However, as I grew up, it was an understanding of smallness. Do you see what I’m saying? So I didn’t dream I could have anything that I wanted anything that I imagined that I think whether you’re white, whether you’re black, whether you’re Asian, whether you’re Indian, whether you’re Lebanese, whether you’re what ever you grew up in, many of us grew up in a culture where you don’t get what you want, you get what’s available. So the reason that women listening right now, you are afraid to say to your life partner, I want more than this. I knew when I was engaged, did not get married to this man. He was a good man. He just wasn’t my husband. I knew when we went to see this house and Melyssa The house was about $380,000. And no disrespect to anyone who lives in a $380,000 home. Understand that I come from a mindset of abundance. I’m obsessed about money. That’s my dialogue. So know that Okay, so know that if a weight trainer was talking and saying, Oh, yeah, do 100 burpees and then 100 squats and then do 100 that you would not judge them because you would go that’s what they do as a trainer, so don’t judge me. Then I’m going to have a conversation bigger about money and housing conditions. I knew when we went to look at a house I went thinking this was a starter home. Under 400,000 is going to be a great starter home in Texas by the way. That’s a good That’s a good size home. He said, we could live here forever. I knew he wasn’t my husband right then.

I knew right then, because I’m not in the business of retraining your stinking thinking, honey. So I knew in that moment so for the woman that’s listening, that saying, I’m afraid to say that you really aren’t afraid. I’m going to go back to the place of certainty and clarity. certainty is a high need for women. And for people in general. Bernie Brown, Dr. Bernie Brown says that the highest human need is to belong. The reason we don’t want to be distinctive and what it is we desire and articulate that out of our mouth, is we believe it detaches us from belonging. So it I would have been afraid and been like, Oh, this means I can’t marry this man. And, oh, this means that I’m not going to have the family that I dreamed in this means know what it meant was I’m not going to marry the man that would we would aggravate each other for the next 30 4050 years because we were never aligned to begin with. So for everyone that’s listening, what I would say is ask yourself this, what is it that I am wanting to deeply align with? What would bring me a greater sense of joy in my life experience? What provision would surprise and delight me? And the reason that I’m bringing questions to you is because the quality of your life is based on the quality of your questions. The other reason that I’m asking questions Melyssa is because people will always argue with our data, but they will never argue with their own. So if you can answer the question for yourself and then you choose to do or not to do out of that, that’s your own internal battle. You’re not fighting me. You’re not like, I hated that interview without wasn’t good. She said, No, maybe I didn’t say it. Look at what you wrote in your journal. That’s what your heart wants. That’s what your soul is asking for. That’s what’s aching you in the shower, when you don’t want anybody to see you crying when you are falling on your knees, you physically aren’t in on your knees, you’re in the kitchen cooking and you’re like, Okay, I’ll do that. And you’re in an imposter syndrome. But inside, you are on your knees crying because you are not in the life that you desire, and you know, that you deserve. That’s the awakening that we’re bringing to people today.

Melyssa
Yes. So well said and you said something in there too, that we’re afraid that we’re going to detach from the belonging that we have that if we ask for more, we want a bigger business, a bigger house. Different partner, that we’re going to lose off the blogging that we have, which is really such a deep part of being a human and of life, too. So it, we come across this fear that can really keep us stuck. If we’re not being conscious about it. We’re not like you said, asking really good questions. So we can get into that mindset and see what else is at stake. If we don’t ask for more. And if we don’t go after the things that matter.

Yeah, hmm. What would you say to somebody if they were thinking like, I feel inside of me that my life isn’t what I want it to be right now. I know that there’s more out there for me, but I don’t even know what it is if they just feel a lack of clarity because they’re so disconnected from that side of themselves.

Allyson
Yeah, you know, that’s how I felt when I was leaving my coaching business. So I lead a very successful coaching business. A lot of people, you know, may or may not know my story and in the earliest years of my career, I ran sales for a woman named Lisa Nichols. And a lot of people know her from the book The secret. She also wrote an incredible book called no matter what. And when I started with Lisa, she had one product. And then I was her mentee. And then she invited me to be in her C suite and be a part of basically creating her entire sales division and I traveled with her all over the world for five years changed my life.

She is one of the most generous and loving and kind and thought provoking leaders that has ever been in my vortex ever. And when I knew there was more, I was so afraid. Watch this, watch what I’m about to say. Because there was nothing wrong in our relationship. There was nothing wrong in the company. I mean, there were things that people don’t like.

You know, that’s just people. But there was nothing wrong. I wasn’t being abused. I didn’t hate it. You know, it wasn’t bad. I was traveling all over the world, Aruba, Mexico, Jamaica, it like everywhere. But I knew there was more right. And I was afraid to make the decision because I didn’t know how to make a decision that led me to pleasure not exited me out of pain.

Melyssa
Can you say that again?

Allyson
Yes, most of us are masters at making decisions that exit us out of pain. We are not masters of making decisions that navigate us into higher degrees or greater experiences of pleasure. Just that was a lesson for me. I did not know how to say to the youth universe for my life of my life more, please. There’s more good available to me. I’m traveling all over the world more please. I’m meeting people like I was sitting at dinner and had no idea having a great conversation with a great white haired man he seemed. So why is he asked me all these great questions and we talked and we laughed and we chatted literally for hours, Melyssa, I went back to my room. And Lisa said, How did you enjoy your conversation with Neil? I said, Oh my god, it was so great. And she said, Well, did you tell him how he changed your life with this book? And I said, No. What book and she said, you know, you were talking to Neale Donald Walsch. I said, I was

talking to a all white dude named Neil. I had no idea. The same thing happened to me talking to Bob Proctor. I said and talked to him for three hours. I just thought I was talking to a guy named Bob. I didn’t know it was Bob Proctor And so as I was having all these experiences, because I had come from so much trauma in my life, I knew how to say I don’t want that. I did not yet know how to say I want more of that. So for everyone that’s listening, what I want you to think about girlfriends, and even to the brave men that are listening to this podcast that follow the brilliance that is, Melyssa, I want you to think about what would happen of my life and for my life, if I looked at what was pleasurable, and I began to magnify that with my dialogue. You’ve never read the book by James Allen as a man thinketh you can download it for free right now, on the interwebs you know, so much in these internet streets, but read that book, because as a man thinks so is he So what you think about is what you bring about what you bring about is what you speak about. So look at do I speak about what I want more of? Or do I speak about what’s in my circumstance? If your conversation is always repeating what is already existing, you are not inviting abundance, expansion, delight and joy. You are not deliberate in your intention or your creation, you are living according to what is dealt to you, you have not become the master of your fate, you are not living as the captain of your soul. You are not surrendered to divinity however you acknowledge divinity God’s source let you know Jesus Allah Buddha Christ consciousness, however, you acknowledge that you haven’t given yourself full permission to surrender and to be in the vibrational frequency of having more of what delights you in your life. That is where the work of bringing more light into yourself. That’s where you begin. That’s a starting place.

Melyssa
Hey, limitless listener. We’ll get back to the show in just a moment. But I wanted to take 20 seconds to invite you to the free at home digital retreat that I created just for you. It’s called limitless entrepreneur and it’s all about helping you to create an abundant, fearless mindset all while growing your online business. You want to join just visit limitless entrepreneur retreat.com to register it’s totally free. That’s limitlessentrepreneurretreat.com All right, friend back to the show.

Mm hmm. so powerful. Yeah, cuz we were just talking about the things we don’t want. How could we possibly be creating the things we do want? Yeah, I couldn’t agree more. And the story that you said about Lisa Nichols, too. I thought that was so powerful, really powerful point because it seemed like she was

The type of person who helps you to expand, expand what you thought was possible for your life and what you wanted to be asking for. And it brings up a good point that for anyone listening like Who are those people that you look to that help you expand your definitions of yourself and what’s possible for you and your life? And if you don’t have those people find them. Allyson’s a good one to start with.

Allyson
Yeah, we both are, you know, something I want to say is when I grew up my influencers were very spiritual. You know, I grew up in the church, I’m sure people can hear I got a little bit of preaching me, I can do a low hum, you know, get you a little Baptist stank up in there, you know. And even though that’s not my current reality today, or my spiritual practice today, what is true is that, you know, I grew up hearing a lot of spiritual teaching. So when I began to grow in business

I left Lisa’s company and started my own organization called money Movers. And then that movement took off like we did half a million dollars. Within the first 30 days, we did our first million within the first four months and then I mean it just snowballed. It was just bigger and bigger and bigger. And then from there, I since closed that company joined a partnership and created an organization called propel. And I mean, man, you know, just the history in the last few years, I think over 216 million dollars. We are just so excited about the results that we’ve created. As I went through that I had to stop listening to so much spiritual teaching, because what was growing and what I was responsible for bringing in the world, it required a spiritual groundedness but I did not need majority

My thinking dominated with spiritual teaching. I stopped listening to Marianne Williamson, I stopped listening to Gabby Bernstein. I said, not that they’re not great people. I stopped listening to TD Jakes and Joel olsteen. They’re great. But I had to start listening more to Dan Kennedy was still alive at the time. And I started to study more of what it looked like to be in the roots of Internet Marketing and be successful. I started listening to Dan Sullivan and what Dan Sullivan had to say Tony Robbins about my peak performance, my levels of success. I started listening to Dr. Bernie brown about my vulnerability, my transparency, I started reading books like crucial conversations that helped me in my leadership, and my guidance I read on emotional intelligence, emotional intelligence 2.0 I started reading Jill Conrad

In regard to sales and becoming stronger in sales, I started working directly with Grant Cardone and Jeffrey Gitomer, Jeffrey Gitomer wrote the book the sales Bible, Grant Cardone wrote 10 x sat down with both of them personally, I changed the type of mentoring that was around me. So I will say to everyone, that as you’re growing, pay attention to what you’re growing in. And if you want more business success, but you’re sitting around and reading all the books on spiritual greatness, guess what you’re going to manifest more of, and there’s nothing wrong with that. But then you’re going to judge yourself on why isn’t my business efficiency where it needs to be? Why is my performance not where it needs to be? Well, because you’re not reading about performance, you’re not ingesting that. So there’s no you don’t have anything to give out in that. So just a side note, whatever it is you’re growing into, you’ve got to give yourself permission to Put those seeds in yourself so that you can actually have harvest to pull from.

Melyssa
Mm hmm. Yeah. And tell me if you agree with this, but I feel like with the business strategy, we get to a point with that too, where it’s like we’ve learned enough and now we’re running up against mindset problems where it’s like we’re in our head or freight or we’re holding ourselves back or self sabotaging, because we’re not doing the mindset or like so and goals to taking another business course or business book. What do you think?

Allyson
I think that for me, as I evolved in success, it became bigger than books for me. So when I was under six figures a year, my mentors, my teachers, my growth was pretty much managed by YouTube, audio books CDs at the time. You know, because I didn’t have the capital to be able to invest

Once I got over my first six figures, then I got into a mastermind, and masterminds are phenomenal for your mindset because you start to see other people that look like you talk like you think like you walk like you. And you start to understand, oh, I’m not the only one that has this way of thinking you start to understand it’s science that the average human brain, you know, has x amount of thoughts in a day over 60% of them are negative. So you start realizing, oh, my stinking thinking isn’t just because my mama Molly walked me upside the head or my daddy left me or, you know, I grew up in Podunk. Wherever USA, you start realizing, oh, we all have a story. So that’s why masterminds are such a brilliant way for you to not only be guided by a mentor, a coach, a facilitator, a trainer, but for you to see other peers that are in their rising as well. From there, then I invited a special Personal mentor into my life. And you’ve got to understand the distinction between a mentor, a coach and a trainer. They are unique, right? So it depends on Are you hiring implementation right now? Are you hiring strategy? Like what is it? So to me, I think that the mindset piece of it, I’ll never forget working with someone that I paid $66,000 to $66,000. And he would do our sessions walk into the grocery store, and I’d be like, are you really walking to the grocery store? I just felt like, he should be sitting there in a suit on zoom looking at me it is giving me his whole life available. And the reality was, in that entire time we were together. Number one, I didn’t even finish my sessions with him. And the reason that I didn’t is because I

He said one thing. And the one thing that he said, made such a massive difference. And I said, I’m done. I got everything I needed from you what you just did for me, watch me go implement it. Will you watch me do this implementation over the next eight weeks? He said, Absolutely, I will. And I said, I’m done as a result of that my tech company exists today. You know, and what he said to me was a mindset shift. So I do believe that wherever you are, your mind got there first. So it is important that wherever your mind is navigating you to is actually the place that you really want to go. And I believe that mindset experts support us in that and I will tell you to this day, I would pay that $66,000 times 10 for the breakthrough that I got for the reality that I live today. And I think that as you get higher and success, it’s like a restaurant. If you go to an inexpensive restaurant like a Chili’s, you get a big sandwich Big O fries, bingo, drink unlimited. If you go to a high end restaurant, let’s say you go somewhere like the Four Seasons, they’re going to give you a very petite meal, but it’s going to be quality food, it’s going to be filling and fully digestible by the body. As you elevate in levels of success, you start requiring less but the quality of what you get is where you place the demand. Because you know if somebody gives you one nugget of understanding, it will change how you operate for the rest of your life.

Melyssa
I am like I could not agree more with everything that you just said. I want to highlight a couple things that you said because they’re so powerful. One was wherever you are your mind got there first. That is so good. And so true that if there’s anywhere in our lives that we want to reach, our mind has to get there before our tactics before our strategies before are doing, it’s like we’re setting ourselves up for either success or failure with how we’re thinking about it. I love that and what you were saying to about looking for the nuggets of value, because I think what a lot of people do is they’ll look at something and think like, if they’re working with that coach, they’ll think every single minute needs to be valuable. If I’m gonna pay this much money for something I need every second to give me some sort of breakthrough and it’s like, actually, one minute of that entire coaching program could change your life forever. But you have to be open to that being possible. You have to be open to the abundance of one minute being worth $66,000 versus needing every single second to be a value and I think that was so well said and so true for people who

Allyson
Want to start businesses or have businesses like look for the value instead of where something is not measuring up? One of the things I noticed when I used to run masterminds and I’m so grateful that I don’t anymore.

I noticed that people wanted me to be a parent. And they wanted me to do the things their parents didn’t do, which is why they wanted so much time. And you know, that is not necessary. I will tell you, I just flew my mentor. Just a couple of months ago, I happened to see on social that he was on the west coast. I said, hey, you’re on the west coast, by any chance. Are you available Sunday for a quick lunch? And he said, Let me look at my schedule. And he said, Yeah, I am. I said, I’ll reach out to Melyssa which is his assistant, can I book you in to San Diego where I am flew him first class to San Diego flew him right into where I was went to a high end hotel restaurant combination thing. We met I sat down with my organized thoughts everything car service, got him back into his five star black car service back on a plane, I flew him, I paid all the rerouting everything, just for that two hours with him. Because I know, I don’t need six months with him. I need those two hours. And it was worth spending all the money, all the fees that it costs everything that it took to get in here. We did it so quickly. But it’s because I’ve learned that lesson so if you are ever feeling like man, my coaches underserving me ask yourself, are you trying to get a buffet? Are you walking in like an old school buffet that has Mexican Food on one side barbecue on the other Asian food on the other desserts galore like all of that food is over processed, there’s nothing that you can do with it. You walk away feeling bogged down in heavy. And so are you trying to do that with your own strategy and then wondering, why don’t I ever have liftoff in my ideas? Why can’t I ever implement to the highest level in which I desire and crave for my success? Because you’re overloading yourself and information. Listen, baby, you don’t need no more information and you don’t need no more hugs. What you need is a kick in the ass to get yourself from where you are to where you want to be. And it probably with the right coach only takes him about 15 minutes to get there. So write the check, give the 15 minutes and then show up for your life bigger than you ever have before.

Melyssa
Hmm, yeah, I think that this is something that actually separates a lot of entrepreneurs from whether they succeed or not, is needing the buffet thinking that they need the buffet wanting the buffet, I had somebody a while ago reach out to do a one on one coaching package together. And I told her the cost of the one on one package. It was a few months long. And she sent me an email back and said like, do you know that what you’re giving me is only like 12 hours of coaching for this price that’s like 1500 $2,000 an hour, something like that. And she was kind of irate about the cost of it.

And I knew in that moment that she wasn’t the right client for me. But I also knew that for somebody who’s valuing their time, based on the minute, it’s going to be a different result than if you’re valuing it based on the value because I know that the value that I could give would give her farm and then what the coaching package was actually worth but so many people are looking for, like, what’s the cost per minute, what am I going to earn from every single second that someone’s telling you something and it’s really just a different way. I think it’s like a abundance. versus scarcity way of looking at the world of is there value here or looking for where they’re not getting what they need?

Allyson
And to me before you hire anyone, you should know that already. So you should, to me when I was available for one on one coaching, the way that I would you know, the way that it would read in the questionnaire is, what is the number that you’re going for, like you need to already be telling me the project that you’re creating, how much revenue You know, you’re anticipating, it’s going to create, what’s your margin inside of that, like you should already know some of those things and then you should ask and even you should know an even smarter question, which is, what am I missing? What you should be asking of the coach, what am I missing? The coach, the consultant, the strategist should not be persuading you on your vision. You should come rock solid in that vision. If you don’t, then to me you’re not ready yet. Because you’re asking for someone’s permission and someone’s endorsement, and that’s the worst relationship that you can have with your coach. Hmm, yes, I agree.

Melyssa
So you actually talked about this other concept too, that I I’m very much into, and it’s service versus selling and how a lot of women will say something like, I just want to serve the world and do good and make an impact, which ends up keeping women broke and not doing as much as they could be doing in the world. So tell me more about this service versus selling mentality.

Allyson
Well, I just think this that, you know, you cannot service what hasn’t been sold. Hmm. So, you know, I can’t go get a massage at work done. If I don’t own it. If I didn’t buy it. I can’t show up to the service department. I’d like to have you fix the brakes on Well, where’s your Mazzerratti Oh, I haven’t bought it. You can’t service what hasn’t been sold. And so, so many people are Like I want to serve, what are you serving? Who are you serving? If you do good in the world, you should live well. If you live well, then you should do good. And so there has to be a transaction for that transformation. And if you’re not asking for a transaction, how do you anticipate there’s going to be transformation by the client or by you? So the first time that I charge somebody $100,000 I was shaking in my boots, I was about to pee on myself. If you work with me privately, I typically ship out a box of depends to you. Because I believe that if pa running down your leg, you ain’t dreaming big enough. You know, so I ship depends a little, you know, adult underwear garbage just so they can sit on your desk as a symbol of that, right. So I believe that the act of selling is inviting people in

To a possibility that they didn’t know existed until you showed up. So it’s just an invitation into what’s possible. So if you’re a coach in health, it’s an invitation into another level of that. If you sell widgets or gadgets, if you think about the Snuggie. This Negi invited us into the possibility that there was a blanket, that could snap around our neck and not fall when we were eating popcorn that could have sleeves, and then they took it another level, it could be marked with our team, it could be animal print, it could be all these things. It just invented a possibility for us. So you’ve got to give yourself permission to go, okay. What I’m doing is inviting people into possibility. And if they want that possibility to become a reality, there has to be a monetary exchange for that. The other thing that I would say is that you get to buy yourself into good work or God work. And so the way that you buy yourself into good work and into God work is that you’ve got to monetize the business. Are you in the business of being an entrepreneur? Or are you in the process of being a philanthropist and a volunteer? Because volunteerism, you do not get paid for that. And philanthropy, you already have the overflow of money so that you can be altruistic. So if you haven’t done those efforts yet that allow you to be philanthropic and altruistic, you’ve got to do that and earn your way into that space. So that’s my thought on it. A lot of people sometimes say, Well, no, what I mean is, you know, I just want to do a value added amount, I want to make sure that it’s really super affordable. Well, then you have to make sure that you have enough visibility, so that whatever you’re offering at a super affordable rate, you can have the volume so that you can live well because if

You don’t live well? are you really doing good? And if you’re worried about the light bill, can you really be the light? To me? The answer is no. So take care of yourself, and then give out of that overflow. But entrepreneurship is the courage and the will to live the big idea of your life. And then you having the courage and the fortitude, the resilience, the skill set the will set the mindset doing everything you can to strategically monetize that in a way that stabilizes you and allows you to then effectuate change out of that but people confuse a good idea with a business people confuse. I want to serve instead of sell what if you do both? And what if it’s not either or? That’s my thought process when it comes to service and selling. Huh?

Melyssa
Yes, I love that. that It can be intertwined that you’re serving when you’re selling. And by the way, I love that you’ve just brought back the Snuggie. I had not thought of the Snuggie in years. Thank you for that one. But you make such a good point with the philanthropist and the entrepreneur, I had a client pretty recently who was wanting to increase the prices of her programs. And she was saying that she felt bad that her people wouldn’t be able to afford it and that she’d be leaving people behind. And I was telling her pretty much the same thing that you’re clouding your energy by being the the nonprofit organization owner and an entrepreneur at the same time. And when you try to do both of those things, then you’re you’re not coming from a place of clarity. So it’s like exactly what you said, Be the entrepreneur, charge your products, a fair price for your company, and then from the overflow, then you can donate then you can create a foundation then you can have scholarships of your programs. But when you try to do both at the same time, then you create a company that’s built on being a non profit And not a business.

Allyson
Yeah, it’s so true. And I think that many people are looking at other people and they’re judging where they are. If you go A through Z and the letters, they’re judging someone’s in, but they’re at a, so you got to understand where are you in your own journey. And I remember when I was charging, man, I think it used to be, it was 295 for my group coaching, and this was back in 2008. And I charge 295. And then I decided, Okay, what I’m going to charge for my group coaching is $10,000, because I saw somebody else do it, but I wasn’t even in the caliber of community that could afford that. And what I thought to myself was, I’m not worth the $10,000. Well, that’s not real. I hadn’t yet gotten myself to the place of visibility, impact or influence, to be able to be around the type of clientele that could bear the weight of that. So it had nothing to do with how good I was. It had everything to do with where I was in my process and my evolution as an entrepreneurial leader. Hmm, yes. I love that. While you are so brilliant Allyson, I just love talking to you and hearing your wisdom and all of the incredible experiences that you’ve had in the way that you see the world you just really do see it from such an abundant wise place.

Melyssa
So I have one last question for you that I love to ask all of my guests and that that’s just what is one piece of advice that you would give to our listeners about how to live a life with no limits?

Allyson
Hmm. So I’ll say that through my gift, I believe we all have unique gifts and so My particular gift is words. I love words. I studied the etymological dictionary. I look up the Hebrew, the Latin, the Swahili, of all kinds of words. I have always been a master of words from the time I was little. And so I’ll answer you from my gift which is become a master of words. If you want to live a limitless life, take control over what you speak. Take control over what rolls out of your gut, up your esophagus, across your tongue and pasture lips. When you wake up in the morning. Don’t stop with ungrateful. Let it flow. Begin to say things that astonish you that are unfamiliar, today is my day. Today is the day that I feel so good. And I am so excited about life. Today is the day that a dream that’s been incubating in my heart that I may have even forgotten comes true for me. My life is remarkable. I am surprised and delighted today today. I get to meet someone and make a difference for them. I’m a miracle worker today. Today is the day that I get to be an earth Angel for someone that’s been waiting on an answer. The way that I’m waiting on an answer. Someone else is waiting on an answer. And the minute that I get to be that for them, I get to invite it in even more exponential power into my life. Oh, my life is so good. Oh, my life feels so good. My relationships are so good. Today is the day that I get to have a contract come in that I didn’t even think I could have as a matter of fact, I’m Excited about the abundance of money of conversations and relationships that happened today. Today is the day that when I walk my feet feel like they’re walking on air. Today is the day that joy and bliss are my partners, and they hold my hands. Today is the day that hope whispers in my ear and tells me the future of our society and of our universe. And I get to be a part of that energetic light that is moving through the world. Like just say things like that to your to yourself. Just let it pour when you’re washing dishes when you’re bathing your body when you’re out walking a fur baby when you’re changing the kitty litter. When you’re you know, watch what you say and give yourself permission to become the narrator of the goodness, the godness the greatness the deliberate delight that you would love to experience in your life.

Let it flow out of your mouth and watch your reality shift and watch the cap. fly off the sky will never be the limit. The universe will be everything for you and you will know that the universe is here to reward you because you prophesied it. You proclaimed it, you declared it You spoke it and then you lift it.

Melyssa
Amen. Amen. Thank you. Where can people go to learn more about you?

Allyson
I am a super fan of Instagram. I have so much fun on Instagram. So good. Yeah, I love I love the gram. Now I will say in my dm you do get to meet some of the my engagement team Joan and Santiago and Mariah, but I’m in my dance too. So I love my I love my diems but I’m a fan of stories. I don’t post a ton but I love to invite you into my life. I love that. 85% of my time I spend running my tech company and working with high level leaders. I’m a producer behind leaders, white labeled A lot of people don’t know that I’m behind some of the biggest infomercial leaders that are out there and podcast producers and event producers and stuff like that. That’s what my company does. I love that. But the other 15% I get to spend creating, you know, four master classes a year, and being generous with money mindset and being on podcast with my friends like you who invite me and so follow me on the gram at I am Allyson Byrd, and be my friends and be my sister be my brother in this journey. And let’s do something we’ve never done in the world by being people that we’ve always dreamed we could become. And we can do that. By being together. Even if we’re holding hands virtually. Even if our hearts are touching virtually we’re still together in this journey, you just listen to the limitless life podcast Now don’t worry with new episodes every week, there’s plenty more where that came from. Now make sure to subscribe so you don’t miss the next one and visit the limitless life podcast.com for the latest. Now, I’ve also created a free five day at home digital retreat that will show you how to create an abundant, fearless mindset. All while growing your online business. Just visit limitless entrepreneur retreat.com to register, it’s totally free. And also if you want to spread the love You’re welcome to share this episode on Instagram so that other people can come and get this info to now tag me at Melyssa underscore Griffin and limitless life podcast so that I can give you a big ol virtual hug as a thank you. Alright, that’s all for now. Thank you so much for listening. This is Melyssa Griffin and I’ll see you next time.

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Melyssa Griffin

I believe that an unstoppable mindset can be your #1 business tactic. So, my job is to lead you back to yourself and to help you reprogram the limiting beliefs and patterns that are keeping you small. 

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