Coaching Episode: Your Dream Life is on the Other Side of Your Scarcity Mindset (Episode 70)

Melyssa Griffin

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Today I had the pleasure of sitting down for a #LimitlessCoaching call with a member of my Level 1 Mastermind. I’ve gotten to know today’s guest personally through my program and absolutely adore her generosity, transparency, and humor.

In this episode, we dive into the heart of what is going on in Beck’s life that brought her to this coaching call. She has a company that has made huge strides and achieved things she didn’t think was even possible just a few months ago, but she’s noticing a scarcity mindset creeping in.

There are so many gems in this episode, particularly around the realizations that Beck has once she reframes her perspective on making money through work that feels easy and viewing self care as a means to tap into more energy and creativity rather than being an act of indulgence.

After leaving the Level 1 Mastermind Retreat in March, Beck made a commitment to making a more meaningful difference in the world by showing up and leading from a place of truth to help improve the lives of others.

As we dive deeper into the conversation, Beck discovers that there is evidence all around her of  the progress she’s making toward the dream life she has envisioned. 

If you’ve ever felt like you had to burn out to make money or tend to look at the things that could be done better rather than what’s going right, then I believe this episode will be incredibly helpful (and liberating) to you. 

Beck shares a number of things that are going extremely well in her life that serve as evidence that she is moving in the right direction. Some of these things include: daily messages of appreciation from members of her community, a team of brilliant people to help her run her company, launching her podcast, making new business friends, and for her the most important of all – becoming the main financial provider for her family.

What does Beck realize by the end of the conversation?

That she’s living her dream life right now.

Let’s dive in! 

Listen to the episode below:

This episode discusses topics like…

  • Beck’s background and the burn out that led to her starting her dream of an online business
  • What’s working right now in her business and what she feels is causing a scarcity mindset
  • Her dream life and what is holding her back from it right now, in her view
  • The big changes Beck has noticed since joining the mastermind, and the question she has begun asking herself
  • How Beck can begin to look for, and use, evidence as a motivator
  • Daily practices she can do to remind herself that she is indeed moving in the right direction

By the way, I created an entirely free, 5-day at-home digital retreat called Limitless Entrepreneur. It’s all about creating a new income stream in less than a week, as well as reprogramming the beliefs that are keeping you from a no-limits business and life. Click the image below to sign up, it’s free!
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Share on social?

Did this episode help you expand what’s possible for your life or business? Do you think your social media followers may learn something, too? I’d be forever grateful if you shared it on social media. 🙂 If you do, tag @melyssa_griffin and @limitlesslifepodcast so I can repost you! Woohoo!

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this episode. Are you living your dream life? Where do you see the evidence in your daily life that shows things are moving in the right direction?

Thank you SO much for being here, sweet friend. I’m honored to walk this journey with you. See you in the next episode!

xoxo
Melyssa

Read the Episode Transcript Here

Melyssa

So what do you want to talk about today Beck?

Beck

I think I’m going to go to prompt for our chat today. The first is, so with evergreen funnels. Let’s start there. Let’s start with lack of consistency with results of the Evergreen funnels. And what that brings up for me is old scarcity stories. And then the other problem once we get to it is self care. So this year has been really transformative in my business and as a result in myself. Like we don’t have enough time in this podcast to talk about just how transformative it’s been. And so much has changed, change for the better I should let me clarify that so much has changed for the better that I notice glimpses of the life that I have been dreaming of coming to fruition and then when that’s not considered Instant. And by consistent I mean income, I get scared and think, Oh my goodness, maybe it was just a mirage in the distance, you know, maybe it’s just the tease, and I’m not capable of creating something that is sustainable. And then while I’ve been doing this, because as you know, I’ve been doing a lot, a lot, a lot to get this stuff happening. But what I’ve also noticed is I’m not leading myself in the way that I want to be leading myself. So I’ve transformed the way that I’m leading my business and my team and that’s absolutely wonderful.

Melyssa

Got it. And even if it’s something in your personal life, it sounds like that would bring you joy. It’s like well, if it’s not making me money in my business. And I’m not going to do it.

Beck

Yeah. So it with the exception of spending time with my wife and my son, those things never get ignored. But outside of that, if everything else gets except for the laundry, I nailed the laundry. I’m an exceptional laundry doer. I’m very consistent. We always have clean clothes. But when it comes to things that could really increase my energy. actually looked after myself would be better, then. Yeah, at this point, it feels indulgent. Because I don’t feel like I can guarantee that while I’m off doing those things, the money is still coming in to feed my family.

Melyssa

Mm hmm. Okay. Thank you that is so helpful. So many things that we get to unpack together and it sounds like they’re all kind of revolving around the idea of scarcity, that this will go away. Or if you’re not making money and creating abundance, then you’re not worth taking care of yourself and prioritizing your joy and your self care and that the dream life you’re building could disappear. Yes, that’s it. Yeah. Have you always had that? I’m just reflecting back to you exactly what you said to me. Have you always had even before your business and just in your life in general, have you always had this sort of scarcity, feeling or mindset?

Beck

No. So I came from clinical practice, where I had a very comfortable six figure income, I had a very my practice was thriving. I’d never had to advertise I, if anything, I had to close my books and I had money to live very comfortably. But I got burnt out. And then I had to reestablish myself in the career that I loved. I had to say goodbye to doing the work that in a way just filled my soul and changed my own psychological landscape. I got the privilege of working so deeply with so many remarkable people that they changed me. And I came to the end of my emotional resources for that work far earlier than what I expected in my career. And I had to walk away and I knew from that point that I could never go back to it and so the scarcity started with number one, what on earth am I gonna do now? How do I practice psychology in a way uses my skills without having to do client work and then the next piece of scarcity is scarcity. And this is the one that we’re dealing with now is an online business is my dream. The introvert in me absolutely loves this work it is it suits me better than anything I’ve ever done before. And because it feels so good, and it doesn’t really feel like a job, then is it really a way that I can make money? Is it really going to happen for me? And so the scarcity is actually new for this new version of my life of my business in the world because I walked away from a six figure income and basically have been supported by my wife since that time before, up until the mastermind, so the mastermind has changed a lot, but it’s not consistent yet. And that’s where the scarcity keeps. You know, one minute I’m in abundance. I’m like, Oh my goodness, it’s actually working. And then the next week, it’ll go quiet. And I’ll be like, Oh, no, what happens if I can’t sustain it?

Melyssa

And what happens in those weeks that it’s working really well?

Beck

We have sales.

Melyssa

Where did the sales come from?

Beck

Yeah, Facebook ads generally. So I have a Facebook ads person now. And I think she’s great. I really think she knows what she’s talking about. But we’ve spent the last eight weeks testing and so we’ve had really good weeks, we’ve had a record week in that time, and then we’ve also had immediately after that weeks that have been a negative record, you know, so it’s about then tweaking the ad spin. So that’s targeted towards the thing that is actually converting and so while we’re in this testing phase, I don’t have a buffer that makes me feel comfortable financially.

Melyssa

So you’re testing and some weeks are up some weeks are down feels like little scary when you have those down weeks.

Beck

Yeah, that’s right.

Melyssa

And are you seeing a sort of upward trajectory with the ads where they’re starting to work better and better? Or is it kind of all over the place at the moment?

Beck

It’s all over the place. So we were trying four different opt ins, three different webinars, and one challenge. And they were for three different funnels and two different courses. And so only one funnel is converting at the moment and one webinar is converting exceptionally better than the others. So I think we’re about to have a meeting today and I think what’s going to happen for July is, we just focus on that one webinar and just that one funnel, because my planning my head is to kind of then work on perhaps copywriting or something else for the other funnel or messaging to work out why that’s not converting but because it’s been there have been weeks where I’ve like oh my goodness, if it continues like this Then we’re talking about me living my dream life right now, not in five years, like right now. I’ve had those weeks where I’ve like, can you believe this? Like, I can actually go to sleep at night and totally know my bills are paid. But then it’s not like that consistently.

Melyssa

Mm hmm. And it sounds like you’ve done a lot of experimenting with a bunch of different funnels and opt ins and whatnot. And now, you’ve found the one and really all you need is one funnel that’s strong and converting. So it feels like you start to pour more money into that, then that’s where you’re really going to see the return on your investment.

Beck

I think so. And for me, the bridge then is trust.

Melyssa

Mm hmm. That came to me as we’ve been talking.

Beck

Yes. And we’ve talked about this before that this seems to be my lifelong lesson is trust and patience. I pretty much have a PhD in impatience, I think. And this year alone, like just in the last few months of the mastermind One of the things that has occurred to me is when I sit in a place of trust, things happen much faster. But I don’t know why that is. But when I just trust that it is all going to work out, and eventually we’ll be okay then what I’m capable of achieving. And what tends to come to me energetically is quite remarkable. But I’m just noticing because these last three weeks have a bit been a bit wobbly, that I’m also capable of falling back into that scarcity hole because it’s not been so long since I got out of it. Mm hmm.

Melyssa

Yeah. And it sounds like when you used to have your clinical practice, it was easy to trust because you’ve got the referrals and you’ve got the clients without really trying. They just came your way.

Beck

That’s right. I didn’t have to advertise for about eight years. But it was also work that demanded so much of me this work now is work where I genuinely feel like I can impact so many more people than I could have. impacting clinic practicing one person at a time, you know. And because it doesn’t demand resources in the same way, it feels too good to be true. If I make money out of this business, we, like I said, we’re literally talking about the life I’ve dreamed of. And I’ve had glimpses of that. And oh, my goodness, like, what happens if it if it actually could turn out? And then I guess, part of me goes, Well, maybe it won’t because, because why? I don’t know. I don’t know. I don’t know where that story goes. But

Melyssa

You’ve mentioned that a few times the life you’ve dreamed them, you’ve brought it up actually quite a lot. I think that’s a really interesting that it almost feels like the life you’ve dreamed of is being held over here and you’re like, almost there. Like you can see it. You can feel it. Sometimes you step into that life you dream of and then you step out and it’s almost like this. This, am I worthy of it? Is it really something that I can sustain? Do I deserve it? What kind of resistance? Do you feel like you have to fully just saying like, I am living the life that I dream of I choose it. I’m worthy of it. It’s mine.

Beck

It used to be a worthiness issue. But now I think it’s a it’s an issue of Is this real? Let me try to explain that a little bit better. Is this real? Or does this just exist for people that I admire and am inspired by online who apparently have multimillion dollar businesses by doing the same thing? So is it real Can people like me average people like me do this? So that would be the resistance I think around that and then to make it real, what makes it real for me is money in my bank account. That’s when I go, oh, my goodness, I here’s the evidence. Here’s the evidence that people do I need what I have to offer and they’re purchasing it which means this life is unfolding before Eyes. Does that make sense?

Melyssa

Definitely makes sense. And does that not feel like a worthiness issue to see these people who have done what you want to do? And to think, am I capable of creating that? Is it possible for me?

Beck

I hadn’t. I think I had made it a practical issue rather than a worthiness issue, like, what’s the secret that I’m missing? If I can just find out what this secret is, and then I put I’ll do it. I’m capable of doing the work, I’ll do the things. Just tell me what to do. But I’ve done all the things. And I’ve seen glimpses of it. And because it’s not yet sustainable, then for me, there’s a gap in between the reality but I look at versus the reality that I’m experiencing.

Melyssa

Mm hmm. Yeah, that’s interesting. And it’s interesting how sometimes our logical brain will say, this isn’t an emotional thing or This isn’t like an internal thing. This is you just have to learn the steps that they know. That’s the only difference Yeah, that’s so fascinating. And what’s interesting too, is, is it’s so easy to look at the people who have created that and to see the results and the testimonials and the stripe screenshots. And to think that that’s sort of just the way things have always been, without seeing the eight week testing period for their Facebook ads or the clients that they lost or the years of not making a profit and to not see that and realize that we are living the same dream life that they are, or just at a different stage. And that, like you were saying, maybe the trust is the part that’s missing.

Beck

Yeah, and perhaps I don’t, or haven’t sought to look for the stories of people telling the truth about you know, the unstable times and the times where it didn’t work out and some testing failed and there was some money down the drain there. You know, those types of things. I think, I think have been very biased towards the positive stories or perhaps the stories, but I think there’s a lot of stories out there that don’t tell the full truth. So they might talk about revenue, but not necessarily profit. And those things can be quite confusing. And now that we talk about it, though, I do feel I’m feeling as we talk that if we get down to a self worth thing, I think what this is about is, this is too good to be true. I have to work harder. So I think there might be a money story here, which is, when I make money from this, it’s actually too easy. I’m not tired from it. And I’ve, I’ve always been tired from work before. So therefore, it’s just too good to be true.

Melyssa

Right? And do you find yourself over complicating things and working harder than you need to work because you think it has to be hard?

Beck

I used to before the mastermind. One of the things that I’ve change since we’ve been working together is the question I asked myself is, what would it look like if I approach this from a place of ease and flow? Hmm. And I’ve transferred that to not only my business practices as in, I don’t have to do all the things. So I have people in their seats of expertise in my team right now. They’re all contractors. I’m not up to employing anyone full time, but they do their thing. And I trust them to do their thing. And I’ve also transferred that to my writing process as well. What would it look like if I could come at this from a place of ease and flow? So if we had this conversation back in February, I would absolutely say no, I don’t complicate things. I just do what I’ve been told to do. And if you actually went and looked into my business, and all the things you’d be saying that come down, you totally do complicate things and you’re turning yourself in knots because You’re trying to do all the things so not now.

Melyssa

How do we how do we hold that of creating the ease and the flow with what you mentioned at the beginning, one of the two things that you wanted to talk about is the self care feeling like it’s indulgent to take care of yourself.

Beck

Yeah, there’s scarcity of money and the scarcity of time. That would be the best way I would describe the relationship between those two things. What we’ve just been talking about is scarcity of money. And now we move into scarcity of time. If I feel like it’s indulgent to exercise or take time to meal prep, or you know, whatever it is, mainly those two things though, because I don’t see them as tasks in my business that would turn the needle and I feel like the times where we’ve had really good weeks have gone Okay, it feels possible now to spend some time on my self. Mm hmm. It’s almost like I feel for my family for me to justify the years that I’ve been supported by my wife. And this year, I finally had a glimpse of the fact that I can support the family, you know, she could have a break. This is amazing. But because I desperately want that to continue, unless it’s time spent in the business, I, I don’t feel like I can take it.

Melyssa

Mm hmm. Yeah, it’s interesting that word indulgent basically means that something costs more than it’s worth. So I’m curious if maybe it would be helpful for all of those things that seem indulgent, like exercising meal, prepping, watching a TV show, going for a walk, taking a nap. If instead of the initial thought that fires that says that’s indulgent, you should be getting back to work. Maybe there can be some reframing of How is this actually as valuable, if not more valuable than what I’d be doing in my business? How does it feed me and nourish me in a way that actually allows me to get better results or be able to trust and surrender more?

Beck

And that’s exactly what it would do. Because when you define indulgent like that, I don’t, I don’t see that at all. Like, I know that I would feel better if I prepared nutritious meals and went for a walk and, you know, took time to just sit on the couch for a bit and restore those. I know what I would get back in terms of creativity and energy and all that kind of stuff. You know, a lot of bang for buck, really? Yeah, it’s a good deal, butI just think I’ve made the story that I have to be working more to get closer to sustainability, I think.

Melyssa

Mm hmm. So basically I have to burn out so that I can rest and have my dream life.

Beck

Yeah, I have to burn out to justify having a dream life. Because otherwise it feels too easy. And then in the weeks when outside of sales are lower or non existent, some weeks we’ve actually had like a week or two it just goes I just get ghosted, you know? And I’ve actually felt in those weeks Well, I then should be doing more I should be just working harder on what I don’t really know, though. Like if you then said, Well, what should you be doing? I have a content repurposing system. I’m ahead on my podcast episodes. Everyone knows what they need to do. It’s just a matter of getting the ads in front of the right people, you know, like it the answer is not me working harder. It’s weird to say that out loud.

Melyssa

Oh, how did that feel when you said that?

Beck

I was like, yeah, that’s the truth. That’s the reality. But it feels very different.

Melyssa

Like the logic can say yes that’s logically true but the body feeling is like no. It’s not gonna happen.

Beck

No surely surely we have to make it harder in some ways surely we have to force ourselves to do something more because if it’s a down week, then I should also be being harder on myself. Maybe that’s it. If it’s a down week in sales, then I should have to push harder on myself to I don’t know, make it better. But I don’t control Facebook, but I’m not Zuck.

Melyssa

Mark, oh Zuckerberg! Right. Um,it’s really interesting. The story around it has to be hard for it to matter. And if it’s not working out, well, then it’s my fault and I need to work harder.

Beck

Yes, that’s it. Actually, that’s it. It’s my fault.

Melyssa

What if it was no one’s fault?

Beck

Yeah. including mine to be interesting, isn’t it? I think then I don’t know what to do. Like if it’s not my fault. I also don’t know what to do if it is my fault. But I don’t know what to do with it isn’t my fault either, you know?

Melyssa

Hey, limitless listener. We’ll get back to the show in just a moment. But I wanted to take 20 seconds to invite you to the free at home digital retreat that I created just for you. It’s called limitless entrepreneur and It’s all about helping you to create an abundant, fearless mindset, all while growing your online business. You want to join just visit limitless entrepreneur retreat.com to register. It’s totally free. That’s limitless entrepreneur retreat.com. All right, friend back to the show.

Melyssa

What if there was, and you might be doing this already, but for someone like your Facebook Ads Manager because it feels like this section is causing a lot of fear and scarcity of the Facebook ads. And as somebody who’s run Facebook ads for five, six years, I know that they can undulate and they can. They can go up and down, especially when you’re getting a new funnel started. And that can take literally months to really start to maximize and scale it. It’s not like an instant. Just pour money into it and it’ll work kind of thing. And so could there be more communication with you in the Facebook ads person, could you share with them exactly what you’re sharing with me about the fear the scarcity, the what it feels like when you have the big weeks, and then when you have the non existent ghosted weeks and just explained to them, not because you’re upset with them, but because it might serve you to understand the process a little bit more so that you can trust it, because it’s hard to trust something when you’re like, what the heck is happening? Why is it working and not working? Is this normal? Or is it me? Yeah, Could there be more communication there?

Beck

Yes. So what I’ve tried to do, again to free myself up is have my integrated do a lot of communication. So she kind of facilitates that. I occasionally have direct communication with the Facebook Ads Manager but I get a monthly report and weekly statistics often within explanation of what’s been changed or what’s been adjusted. And I think you’re right. One of the things that I think could be more helpful is if we had a three way meeting that was face to face or not over email, where I could actually learn more about the process. Not too much, because I’m not interested in knowing I’m very much about, I’m also not interested in micromanaging ADA, very much about you do your job. And, you know, I trust that you get it right inthe skills that you have. But I think that is not necessarily helping my trust right now. And perhaps, perhaps once we do have a bit of a buffer and something that’s a little bit more consistent, then that strategy of having my integrator facilitate that communication and a more hands off approach is is fine, but maybe during this testing phase, I need to be a bit more involved just to help my perspective because I think that’s what I think it’s just a lack of perspective, it’s really easy to get things out of perspective in your head when you don’t quite understand what’s happening or why it’s so up and down.

Beck

Yes. So what I’ve tried to do, again to free myself up is have my integrated do a lot of communication. So she kind of facilitates that. I occasionally have direct communication with the Facebook Ads Manager but I get a monthly report and weekly statistics often within explanation of what’s been changed or what’s been adjusted. And I think you’re right. One of the things that I think could be more helpful is if we had a three way meeting that was face to face or not over email, where I could actually learn more about the process. Not too much, because I’m not interested in knowing I’m very much about, I’m also not interested in micromanaging ADA, very much about you do your job. And, you know, I trust that you get it right in the skills that you have. But I think that is not necessarily helping my trust right now. And perhaps, perhaps once we do have a bit of a buffer and something that’s a little bit more consistent, then that strategy of having my integrator facilitate that communication and a more hands off approach is is fine, but maybe during this testing phase, I need to be a bit more involved just to help my perspective because I think that’s what I think it’s just a lack of perspective, it’s really easy to get things out of perspective in your head when you don’t quite understand what’s happening or why it’s so up and down.

Melyssa

Mm hmm, exactly. It’s easy. When you have like a kernel of truth instead of the whole truth. Take the kernel and spiral it and have it start to feed an old story and stead of being able to see it for what it really is. And then to have the trust. It’s harder to have the trust when you’ve only got the kernel.

Beck

I agree. And I think the other thing is, so I’ve trusted more in the last couple of months than I ever have in the last five years of business. And I’ve really sat in a place of abundance to the point where I’m the one reassuring others like my integrator has come to me and said, Okay, let’s brainstorm some other ideas for what we can do. Perhaps you can run the masterclass live and I’m the one coming back to going Actually no, I think we’re going to sit in trust. I think we’re just we’re not going to Do more or go harder, we’re just going to trust and for me that places foreign, but also becoming more of my reality. And so while I’m in this transition face between distrust and trust, then yet perhaps I need to facilitate clearer communication between the people that turn the knobs to be able to bend help me to go, well, this is normal. This is what other businesses experience as well.

Melyssa

100%. Yeah, I think that would definitely help to just feel more clued in. Yeah, because it’s one thing to have a business where it’s hands off and everyone else is pulling the levers behind the scenes, but that can be actually really stressful. When we don’t know what levers are being pulled in what they’re doing and is it working? And then we just see the results and we’re like, oh, shit, like, hey, maybe it’s me. Maybe I’m doing something wrong.

Beck

Yeah. Am I the problem?

Melyssa

Right, right. And does your integrator know about how you’ve been feeling?

Beck

Yes, yes. So because we spend an hour together each week and actually talk every day on Slack, I always keep her up to date without leaning too much emotionally. So there’s, I’m conscious of the way that I lead but I’m also very conscious of being authentic and real. And as a result of that foundation for our relationship, I really value that she is often the one to provide me with normalizing steps because she has other clients so she can often come to me and go, you know, it’s actually really normal to experience this in this particular area. And this has happened to my other clients too. Like I had a course I ran a course live. A few months back, and I got completely ghosted in the Facebook group and also in the live calls just no one showed up. And she said, You know, sometimes it just happens like that sometimes you just have a cohort that just don’t present in, or that’s not what they signed up for. They just wanted the content itself. And so it is it’s a normalizing function that she provides me and reassurance from dead end. It’s really valuable. But I think it would be helpful to have that from the my Facebook ads person too.

Melyssa

Mm hmm. I like that. And is there anyone else on your team where you feel like if there’s more communication or you’re more clued into the process, it would ease some of that fear?

Beck

No. So I have copywriters and graphic designers, but they’re covered they’ve got their things covered. So they’re not really involved in results as such, yet the copywriters will be once they rewrite the funnel, No, they’re not. They’re not participating, you know, sort of in bottom line stuff yet.

Melyssa

Mm hmm. Are there other areas of your business besides the Facebook ads that are bringing some scarcity or stress?

Beck

No, actually, that’s not true. But it’s minor. So I, as part of re establishing the type of leader I want it to be, I really had to look at how I wanted to show up for my community during the Black Lives Matter movement. And I’ve absolutely not been enough for my community, I’ve led in a biased way, without realizing it. I’ve done a whole heap of work dismantling my white privilege, and I’m doing work behind the scenes to educate myself. And so in the process of that I was involved in share the mic in Australia. So we had an Australian version of that, and I’ve become involved in a couple of Indigenous People’s businesses to celebrate them and do Some more overt anti racism work as I reestablish our business to be very clearly anti racist. And I lost a lot of followers on Instagram as a result of doing that. And I also occasionally shout out my wife on Instagram. And whenever I do that, I lose followers as well. So we track metrics for Instagram. And just during that process, my followers have been going down and down. They’re done not not by hate, but still down, down, down. And I approach that by saying, please go like, please leave because you’re not my people if you’re leaving for these reasons, but I think well, sales have been low. That might also be a very unconscious trigger in the background, that things are on a downward spiral without me attaching it to perspective. Do you know what I mean? Like, because it’s actually really good that I’m losing followers for those reasons, like get out like this is not the space for you. If you’re leaving for those reasons, and so that would only be the only other part issues.

Melyssa

Yeah, that makes sense. It’s kind of the both and it’s like, the yes and. Like, yes, this is great that they’re leaving, because these are not my people. And I’m standing firmly in my values and sharing what kind of community I’m creating. Yep. And I’ve got some scarcity stuff, and seeing all these people leave is triggering that. And that’s making it worse for me in terms of these other things that were already present in my life in my business. It’s like, the whole both of those things at the same time. They’re both true.

Beck

Yeah, exactly. And yet, if I have a good sales week, we wouldn’t even be having this conversation. You know what I mean? Like, it’s that evidence in my bank account is enough to throw me about five steps forward into abundance and have me go You know what, it’s all good, huh? And I trust that I can just keep doing that. What I’m doing, and the people that I need to serve will find me and because I’m putting myself out there, and I can contribute to them in the way that is most meaningful for me, and most impactful for them.

Melyssa

Mm hmm. I like that. I just wrote down the word evidence in all caps, because it sounds like what’s missing here, in kind of a lot of these different areas is the evidence that what you’re doing is working, that it’s valuable, that you’re doing the right things, that it can be easy instead of complicated. What if we create evidence around why all of these things are valuable? Why they are working?

Beck

Yeah, where is the evidence? Like? That’s it. That’s exactly it. I respond to evidence and I think I’ve only been using bottom line as, as the metric that it’s working.

Melyssa

So what’s the other evidence because I’ve heard you talk about a lot of evidence already in this conversation. That it’s working.

Beck

Well, the evidence is that, since the retreat in March, when I got challenged on the whole heap of shit, which was like, so needed challenging, I came back and I was like, um, I made a commitment to myself that as part of this process, I would do everything within my power to transform my business, because that’s how important that is to me. And it’s important for me to make a meaningful difference in the world. I’m not here to do this, just to enjoy a comfortable life for myself and my family. Yes, I need that in order to continue making this impact. But I’m actually here on earth to make some kind of contribution to other human beings. And the evidence that my business is working to do that is that I get emails and DMS every single day from people saying that that’s what’s happened as a result of their exposure to my work. Either through Instagram quotes on my books or my courses. And I get reminded by my team that what I’m doing is important. And my integrator said to me the other day that I’m the best person she’s ever worked with. And one of my core values in running a business is that I can create a life for my team, where they experience the same sense of satisfaction and impact in the world as I do. And so that’s really meaningful. And then if we actually look at what’s coming out of my business compared to February, I’ve launched a podcast. I’ve written the first draft of a book. I’ve have a content repurposing system. So we launched new content every single week. There’s just 1000 new things like…

Melyssa

Now you have a team.

Beck

Oh, yeah, there’s that right. I have a thing. Oh, just a small thing. I have a team. I have people doing the things but I don’t want to do and also just can’t do it because I’m not as good as them. And I’m working with my dream copywriters. And as a result of that I’ve also made new business friends. Yes, let’s talk about that as evidence because one of the things that I was really experiencing before we connected was a loneliness in business, and people didn’t really get it. And I wasn’t associating with people at the level that I wanted to get to. Does that make sense? 100% Yeah. And I think when you have big goals, you really need to associate up so that you can be exposed to the realities of living like that. And, you know, running a business like that, and I have made business friends, one of whom I’m talking about doing your retreat with. I would like running a retreat for our people with because we have a similar target audience here in Australia. And you know, now This existed months ago, none none of it was possible because I was only one human trying to do all the things. And now we’re actually talking on a Friday. And I’ve been alone since Monday, writing a draft from my book, I’ve taken myself off on a writing your trading I’ve had to worry about nothing. Because my team, I’ve got it sorted. I don’t need to do anything. I’ve got myself ahead on my podcast so that I could go and write a written 25,000 words, their shitty words. I mean, let’s let’s get real. It’s a shitty first draft. But hey, I didn’t exist on Monday either.

Melyssa

Oh, just a bit. What about in your personal life? any evidence there that you’re inching closer to your dream life?

Beck

Yes. So this is probably the best evidence of all. My wife is a musician and she was a gigging musician. And since I left private practice, she’s supported us so she was the one That said leave like stop doing it. You don’t have to do it. And at least three nights a week she wouldn’t get home before midnight because she was out gigging taking it very seriously to support us and our two year old and since May, I’ve been paying bills so she lost her entire calendar of work in March thanks to Coronavirus, everything shut down. So she was forced to take a break. And it was everything that we needed. And at that point I said to her, just don’t even think about going back to gigging I’ve got this, I’ve got us I’m gonna make it happen. And I did all these different things in my business and it actually started working and I pay our bills now. Like I literally I control the money now, which I love like because I’m a control freak total control freak, but I make sure that all the all the bills are paid and it’s coming from my business. That’s paying that But that’s where I want to go, Well, I want that to continue. I want my wife to be able to make music in her studio. She’s, you know, recording other people’s music and composing music for film at the moment. And I want her to do that and not have to go and work late at night. And I’ve seen glimpses of that, you know, like, I’m nearly there. If only we can just tip over that edge to get a more consistent income, then I’ve done it like the dream that I talked about at the retreat in March. I’ve done it already.

Melyssa

Yeah, it sounds like it. Can I read your list back to you?

Beck

Yeah.

Melyssa

You get emails and direct messages every day about how your books and courses and presence in the world is affecting people in a beautifully positive way. You get comments from your team about how much they adore working with you even saying that you are the best person they’ve ever worked with. You have introduced new systems for your podcast, books, content repurposing, you’re creating content every single week. Now, you have a team that you didn’t have before. And you’re working with your dream copywriters who are creating amazing content for you. You have new business friends that you didn’t have before, who love collaborating with you, you’re in they challenge you and they help you out level and just think of your potential in a new and bigger way. And you were very lonely when the year started and now you’ve got this community there to support you even doing a possible retreat together. You are currently on a week long writing retreat where you busted out frickin half a book. And you didn’t have to worry about any of the other things in your business, all the behind the scenes lever pulling other people were doing that for you so that you could just write. And since May you’ve been paying all of the bills for your family, which is a huge accomplishment. And even beyond that, you have a marriage that is so incredibly supportive. And I can just feel the love that comes from your partnership and how much it means to you. That you’ve created a business and a life that can support your family and that you get to do that and even bigger ways as you keep going. That’s a lot of evidence.

Beck

Yeah, that is.

Melyssa

That’s a pretty dreamy life.

Beck

Yeah. Sorry, this feels a bit teary. Amazing, like I it feels unreal.

Melyssa

Hmm. Well, it’s real baby. Yeah, it’s real.

Beck

It’s happening so fast, you know? Well, I mean, nothing’s never like success. I’ve spent five years before this. Doing it different ways, much harder ways. But yeah, it’s that is my current reality.

Melyssa

Mm hmm. And it can happen fast. It doesn’t have to be this slow slog to your dreams.

Beck

Yeah. it’s just amazing. Hmm.

Melyssa

What kind of practice can we create that would allow you to see all of this evidence on a more regular basis, instead of just seeing that bottom line and thinking it’s not working?

Beck

I think I’m going to create a list. And I’m going to gift it to my team. So what’s showing up for me as I want to share this, so I’m going to create a list and I’m going to have it And I’m going to gift it to my team along with some kind of reward that I come up with for each of them. And I’m going to celebrate each of them individually and their contribution to this. Hmm, that’s what I’m going to do.

Melyssa

I love that. I love your heart for including people and celebrating them.

Beck

Yeah, well, it’s not just me. I haven’t done this. Basically, I get in the way, like, you know, they need things done. They’re like, Can you do this now? I’m like, okay, sure it’s in the Asana. I guess I’ll have to do it like, deadlines today. It’s not me. It’s my team. They’re the ones that have gotten me to here.

Melyssa

Yes, and who is the common denominator of the team?

Beck

It’s definitely how I’ve shown up to lead that’s really changed when we started having those calls. Actually, it made me really uncomfortable when we started having those conversations at the retreat about leadership. And I was like, Dude, you don’t get it. I’m not a leader like I can’t do that I can’t, was it I can’t or I’m just too average to lead, you know that word lead really got to me. And I sat with that for quite a long time. And then quite a long time, I don’t do anything for a long time, it’s like three days or something. And then I really thought, Well hold on a second, let’s look at the experience so that I can create it if if what I’m about is making a difference to other people. I actually have the capacity to do that, first and foremost for the people that work for me. And so then when I came from a place of core values, my entire way of seeing myself changed as instead of a leader like someone at the front, I instead started interpreting that as what experience can I create for these human beings that are helping me create my life. So that’s what I try to do now because I’ve watched you do that. I’ve watched really closely about how you relate and connect first. And then you use values as a foundation to be able to move your vessel, the vessel that is your business through the world to impact first the people that are on the boat with you. And then the rest of the world. And that’s what I tried to do. So I’m not discounting myself. I’m just saying that at this point, they’re really important to me, and I absolutely understand I’m not doing this alone. And that’s one of the things that I value most. I don’t feel lonely anymore. I don’t feel alone anymore, because I’m not.

Melyssa

Right.

Beck

Yeah.

Melyssa

I love that. So you’re going to create something to highlight their contributions and impact they’ve had on you.

Beck

Yep. And I’m going to reward them as well. So I’m going to give them like a little present that highlights and then I’m going to give them something that goes with it.

Melyssa

I love that. Could you do the same thing for yourself, too?

Beck

So as a result of this writing retreat where my wife is single parenthood for an entire week, so I could go away and do this. I’ve arranged for us to go to a day spa together tomorrow, and we’re having massages and facials, and my mom is looking after a little boy. So that’s for us to reconnect as well. And, yeah, but I think moving forward, I’m going to rejig my schedule to include a bit more of meaning. And that’s a gift, you know.

Melyssa

Mm hmm. Just have to say your life sounds pretty damn dreamy. I wouldn’t mind living your life, blog writing retreat, followed by a spa day.

Beck

It was also a bribe so I could get the words written. I have progressively bragged to myself this week, I went for a float on Monday, I saw my cousin who’s a beauty therapist for a facial on Tuesday. I went to the hairdresser on Wednesday. I did all these things to bribe myself to write words, despite the fact that I write books, books are hard. I don’t like my brain being stretched and so I just pride myself.

Melyssa

It’s a great strategy. I’m still a little hung up on this word evidence. I’m wondering if there’s some sort of daily practice that you can create. And it doesn’t have to be anything extensive, but to witness the evidence that’s unfolding in your life, that this dream life is actually already here. It could be something like a gratitude practice or a list of abundant things that happen that day.

Beck

I was initially going to say I do some writing to my inner Leader each day. But we talk about other stuff we talk about and that’s generally for reassurance that rushing and I think is separate least for abundance and gratitude could be really useful because It’s not like I’m not grateful. It’s just sometimes that’s not at the forefront of my mind as I’m looking through my to do list, you know? Right. And I think it could really be useful to put that somewhere. So it was there.

Melyssa

Mm hmm.

Beck

To see.

Melyssa

Yeah. Cuz what happened when we just took five minutes and listed out some pieces of evidence.

Beck

Yeah.

Melyssa

Yeah. I love that. And I love that you write to your inner leader. That’s amazing.

Beck

It’s definitely how I’ve shown up to lead that’s really changed when we started having those calls. Actually, it made me really uncomfortable when we started having those conversations at the retreat about leadership. And I was like, Dude, you don’t get it. I’m not a leader like I can’t do that I can’t, was it I can’t or I’m just too average to lead, you know that word lead really got to me. And I sat with that for quite a long time. And then quite a long time, I don’t do anything for a long time, it’s like three days or something. And then I really thought, Well hold on a second, let’s look at the experience so that I can create it if if what I’m about is making a difference to other people. I actually have the capacity to do that, first and foremost for the people that work for me. And so then when I came from a place of core values, my entire way of seeing myself changed as instead of a leader like someone at the front, I instead started interpreting that as what experience can I create for these human beings that are helping me create my life. So that’s what I try to do now because I’ve watched you do that. I’ve watched really closely about how you relate and connect first. And then you use values as a foundation to be able to move your vessel, the vessel that is your business through the world to impact first the people that are on the boat with you. And then the rest of the world. And that’s what I tried to do. So I’m not discounting myself. I’m just saying that at this point, they’re really important to me, and I absolutely understand I’m not doing this alone. And that’s one of the things that I value most. I don’t feel lonely anymore. I don’t feel alone anymore, because I’m not.

Melyssa

Right.

Beck

Yeah.

Melyssa

I love that. So you’re going to create something to highlight their contributions and impact they’ve had on you.

Beck

Yep. And I’m going to reward them as well. So I’m going to give them like a little present that highlights and then I’m going to give them something that goes with it.

Melyssa

I love that. Could you do the same thing for yourself, too?

Beck

So as a result of this writing retreat where my wife is single parenthood for an entire week, so I could go away and do this. I’ve arranged for us to go to a day spa together tomorrow, and we’re having massages and facials, and my mom is looking after a little boy. So that’s for us to reconnect as well. And, yeah, but I think moving forward, I’m going to rejig my schedule to include a bit more of meaning. And that’s a gift, you know.

Melyssa

Mm hmm. Just have to say your life sounds pretty damn dreamy. I wouldn’t mind living your life, blog writing retreat, followed by a spa day.

Beck

It was also a bribe so I could get the words written. I have progressively bribed to myself this week, I went for a float on Monday, I saw my cousin who’s a beauty therapist for a facial on Tuesday. I went to the hairdresser on Wednesday. I did all these things to bribe myself to write words, despite the fact that I write books, books are hard. I don’t like my brain being stretched and so I just bribe myself.

Melyssa

It’s a great strategy. I’m still a little hung up on this word evidence. I’m wondering if there’s some sort of daily practice that you can create. And it doesn’t have to be anything extensive, but to witness the evidence that’s unfolding in your life, that this dream life is actually already here. It could be something like a gratitude practice or a list of abundant things that happen that day.

Beck

I was initially going to say I do some writing to my inner Leader each day. But we talk about other stuff we talk about and that’s generally for reassurance that rushing and I think is separate least for abundance and gratitude could be really useful because It’s not like I’m not grateful. It’s just sometimes that’s not at the forefront of my mind as I’m looking through my to do list, you know? Right. And I think it could really be useful to put that somewhere. So it was there.

Melyssa

Mm hmm.

Beck

To see.

Melyssa

Yeah. Cuz what happened when we just took five minutes and listed out some pieces of evidence.

Beck

Yeah.

Melyssa

Yeah. I love that. And I love that you write to your inner leader. That’s amazing.

Beck

Yeah, I do. I learned that from the retreat instead of the chair exercise. That’s a good style exercise. And I it works. But I didn’t have a second chair in my office. So and I like to keep evidence. So there’s that word again. I like to keep the letters for evidence. So sometimes I get reassurance from my emulator that I never expected to get. Like, I actually figured out an entire structure for one of my other books from writing to my emulator, and so I type faster than I can handwrite so I quickly I typed the letter back and then I can go back to it to read it. forget anything. So that’s why I do the writing rather than the empty chair work where I’m just speaking it. Right?

Melyssa

Do you remember the chair activity that we did at the retreat?

Beck

Yeah.

Melyssa

And when I came around, you were kind of sitting there quietly. I said, I’m, I’m done. And for anyone listening, we were doing an activity where you were talking to your highest, most authentic self having a conversation, and you were done. Then I said, we have some more time. Do you want to ask them for anything else? And do you remember what they said?

Beck

Was that the part where she said that it was going to be better than I could ever imagine? And I needed to trust. So what happened after that was, I think I just got really vulnerable and spoke to my high self and said, I don’t believe you. I don’t believe what you’re telling me and she said, You don’t have to believe me. Because it’s already unfolding, you’re already in process. And it’s going to be better than you can ever imagine. So the reason you don’t believe me is because you don’t even have within you the scope to imagine how good it’s going to be right now. You just need to trust.

Melyssa

Chills

Beck

I know, even when I say that again, because at the time I was blown away, even when I say that again, I’m like, wow. And then, because we just did that list. Now that I think about that. If you had told me on that day, that this list was going to happen, and we would have a conversation on in July, the beginning of July, and this would have all happened I would have gone bullshit. Like as if, as if that’s really going to happen, but it has.

Melyssa

Hmm, sounds like she was onto something.

Beck

Yeah.

Melyssa

Now I think her work is probably not finished. We’ll see where you’re at another A few months from now.

Beck

Absolutely.

Melyssa

Yeah. Sounds like some things that maybe you can’t even predict are unfolding for you.

Beck

Yeah. I’m going to stick with that. And stay with that.

Melyssa

I love that. Thank you.

Beck

Thank you.

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