Coaching Episode: How to Move Forward When You Feel Lost or Afraid (Episode 71)

Melyssa Griffin

25 min

POSTED BY

TIME TO READ

02

01

I’m a former high school teacher turned entrepreneur who loves few things more than a good hug, hopping on a flight to anywhere, and teaching people like you how to live an abundant and limitless life.

I’m Melyssa Griffin

THE GIRL BEHIND THE BLOG

MORE ABOUT ME

POPULAR CATEGORIES

POPULAR LATELY

Business Tips

Grow, scale, and get the open book lessons I’ve learned along the way.

How Your Money Mindset is Sabotaging Your Business (And How to Fix It)

How to Let Go of the Status Quo to Live the Life You Were Meant For

03

Your Dream Life is on the Other Side of Your Scarcity Mindset

04

Why It’s So Damn Important to Heal Your Relationship With Money

TAKE THE QUIZ

Discover Your Money Magnetism Archetype

free quiz!

Mindset

Because the best way to grow your business is from the inside out.

You know, just the stuff from me to you.

Personal

Case Studies

Facts, numbers, behind the scenes, and income reports. I’m sharing it all!

Over 20,000 online entrepreneurs have gone through my programs. 

Sucesss Stories

SEE THEIR STORIES

Anjali 

PROFITABLE CREATOR STUDENT

TARAH-LYNN

PROFITABLE CREATOR STUDENT

MICHELLE

PINFINITE GROWTH STUDENT

ALORA

EMAIL LIST ACADEMY STUDENT

What happens when you find yourself holding on to a version of yourself that you’ve outgrown because you’re afraid of leaving those you care about behind? 

During this #LimitlessLife Podcast Coaching episode, I had the pleasure of chatting with Saige. She loves witnessing the transformation that occurs within her one-to-one business structure but feels ready to expand so that she can take on more entrepreneurial opportunities and help more people. However, it’s hard for her to actually see what’s on the other side because she’s afraid to leave her clients behind. 

As the discussion unfolds, Saige realizes it’s actually the older version of herself that she’s most afraid to leave. 

The older version that believes success comes with a lot of sacrifice which would include the time that she spends with her young children. She’s also afraid of disappointing others by showing up in all of her truth and vulnerability. 

If you are struggling to find a way forward because you’re unclear of what your next steps are or you are afraid of letting other people down, this episode is definitely one to listen to!

I haven’t always had clarity on what my next steps should be. I’ve taken action based on what has felt right within. I believe it’s important to take a step in the direction of your alignment  and the other steps start to present themselves. 

I’d love to know what you think of this coaching episode.

Let’s dive in! 

Listen to the episode below:

This episode discusses topics like…

  • How Saige wants to expand her reach to utilize her time in a more effective way 
  • Why she feels she is really hesitating in raising her rates
  • Her struggles with the dynamic of being the face and the brand of her business, and how to separate it from her personal life
  • The conscious or unconscious personal “contracts” Saige has, and how to move through them and push forward
  • Ways to handle the worry about what other people think, and learning how to cleanse the people that are not ready to receive what you have to offer

By the way, I created an entirely free, 5-day at-home digital retreat called Limitless Entrepreneur. It’s all about creating a new income stream in less than a week, as well as reprogramming the beliefs that are keeping you from a no-limits business and life. Click the image below to sign up, it’s free!
Sign me up

Links from the episode:

How to subscribe + review:

Want to be the first to know when new episodes are released?

Also, podcast reviews are pretty darn important to the iTunes algorithm and the more reviews we receive, the more likely we’ll be able to get this podcast and message in front of more people. I’d be extremely grateful if you left a review right here letting me know your favorite part of this episode.

Share on social?

Did this episode help you expand what’s possible for your life or business? Do you think your social media followers may learn something, too? I’d be forever grateful if you shared it on social media. 🙂 If you do, tag @melyssa_griffin and @limitlesslifepodcast so I can repost you! Woohoo!

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this episode. Are you surrounding yourself with people who are showing up in their personal and professional lives in a way that you admire? How can you begin to show up for yourself in a way that gives validation to your desires rather than your fears?

Thank you SO much for being here, sweet friend. I’m honored to walk this journey with you. See you in the next episode!

xoxo
Melyssa

Read the Episode Transcript Here

Saige
So, Saige, where do you want to start today? Well, I feel like I’m at a crossroads in my business right now. I have, I’ve kind of brought to life a lot of the visions that I had in mind, and I feel myself long kind of moving beyond those. And I feel a little bit unclear of what the next step is for me.

Melyssa
Okay, tell me more. Where are you at right now? And what do you feel like is causing that resistance to whatever the next step is?

Saige
I think, all right, when you said that the first piece of resistance that came up is just the the not being able to conceptualize what this next step looks like. So right now where I’m at in my businesses, I’m a hypnotherapist and a spiritual guidance. So I take clients went to one and help them transcend limiting beliefs. And I love doing that. And I feel like I’ve kind of capped out my time by doing one to ones, I feel myself wanting to kind of grow and expand and just take on more entrepreneurial aspects, I can feel that the consciousness of my business wants to grow maybe beyond ,beyond a place that I’ve been before. So it’s hard for me to actually even see what’s on the other side. So there’s just a little bit of haziness.

Melyssa
Right, it’s almost like this lack of clarity of what the next step would even look like what that next phase will even be.

Saige
Exactly.

Melyssa
Do you have any sense of even if you don’t know what the pieces look like? Do you have a sense of what it would feel like or what your life might look like in that next phase?

Saige
Yeah, I do. I have this sense of…well, it’s a lot like what it is now, except for more, more expansive, more room. I feel like some of my time right now. It could be utilized in different ways. I think that what I’m really feeling is this calling to kind of expand my reach. And there’s this fear that I have of leaving my current client behind. If that makes sense, I have this like this, I think a limiting belief that I carry is that if I grow, then I have to leave behind certain people. That’s something that’s been circulating.

Melyssa
Okay. That’s part of it, I’m guessing. Yeah. And it’s something that a lot of people experience of like, if I grow, who am I going to abandon? Essentially, who am I going to leave behind? Who are you going to leave behind if you grow?

Saige
But, you know, as you said, that I just thought of how my Kiet my current client is like, is me, you know, several years ago or a few years ago, it’s I’m always serving myself at a certain stage. That’s why I feel passionate about what I’m doing. So I think maybe there’s this aspect of leaving a version of me behind if I expand when actually, as I’m saying that I’m like, no actually, I’d be leaving myself behind if I didn’t expand?

Melyssa
Whoa, right.

Saige
Right. So, I think there’s just this uncertainty of what the next step is.

Melyssa
Mm hmm. Yeah. And it seems like there’s these little strings that are kind of preventing you from visualizing the next step because there’s this fear of “Who will I be leaving behind” if I actually start to visualize it and really start to lean into what that next step is going to look like for me.

Saige
Mm hmm.

Melyssa
Is it possible that those people you’re afraid of leaving behind that the guidance that they needed from you has gotten to the point that it’s finished now that they get to discover a new teacher, they get to discover something within themselves, but that you’re not necessarily leaving them behind? You’re actually gifting them their own next level?

Saige
Yeah, that’s beautiful.

Melyssa
And that you could bring them along with you.

Saige
Yeah.

Melyssa
Is it possible that you could bring them with you?

Saige
Yeah, absolutely. Mm hmm.

Melyssa
So what do you think is preventing you from seeing it that way that as you grow, they grow alongside you.

Saige
So for me, it’s really been, I feel myself being drawn more and more to conscious prosperity. And so the theme of like, helping specifically women, identifying people are so I work with, and helping them feel worthy of receiving and abundance. And so which has been a big theme in my life grow having a childhood where that was some scarcity and got, you know, kind of moving through my own limiting beliefs. So I really, I feel deeply passionate about that mission. And at the same time, I feel this calling to raise my rates and to value my own time so that I can really embody that teaching. And so I think that’s where my fear of leaving people behind comes in. Like I want to still have my work be accessible, I don’t want to. So I think that’s the imbalance where I’m, this is the part that I feel uncertain about is how do I value my time for what I think it’s worth, which is I’ve definitely outgrown my current rate and build a very inclusive, accessible, available business because that’s the the root of why I even started this why I went into this work.

Melyssa
So funny that you bring that up, because I just recorded an episode earlier today about this exact topic about how I did yeah, cuz it’s really common where we get caught in this feeling of I want my work to be accessible. So I don’t want to raise my rates, because I want to help a lot of people and they might not be able to afford those other rates that I’m considering. But what we end up doing is we create this nonprofit business where instead of focusing on growing the business, we’re focusing more on the accessibility and so what my thinking on the subject is, is that if you actually prioritized what feels right to you in terms of what your rates are worth, and didn’t worry so much about the accessibility, and just went for it and whatever you think your services are valued at, and then created accessibility and other ways. So it could be that you donate sessions, or that you donate money because now your business maybe is earning twice as much as it was before, where you have the scholarship or something along those lines. You can have people under you who are helping your clients and they are charging a lower rate. So there’s other ways around the accessibility without under charging yourself. I find a lot of people will do that where it’s like, I want to help a lot of people and then they don’t help quite as many people as they could because they’re under charging. Because when you make more money and I know you know this because talk about prosperity, but when you make more money, the change that you can create in the world is so much larger. So it’s like untangling the nonprofit accessibility side of things from the business. Let’s grow this side of things. You can have both, but not when they’re commingling, if that makes sense.

Saige
Absolutely. Thank you. I feel like those are the exact words that I was looking to hear. Outside of me, just this, that validation of like, when you grow, you have more impact. It’s not the other way around, which is such a strange thing to get hooked on.

Melyssa
Right. Yeah, it doesn’t. It seems like you’d be lowering the pool of people you could affect but then you actually become more well known in your industry, get featured in media and collaborations and books and all of the things and there’s just such a larger scope of what you’re able to do. And if you’re making more money in less time, then maybe you channel that into something else that will help a lot More people, but you got to take care of you first. You know what I mean?

Saige
I love that.

Melyssa
And it’s interesting. You said you, you want to expand your reach. What would that look like to you if you expanded your reach?

Saige
In what way?

Melyssa
Ooh, I’m not sure, you mentioned expand my reach earlier. So I’m thinking, what does that look like for Saige?

Saige
Okay. I think it means so I feel like, Okay, I know what’s coming is that there’s a certain type of patriarchal infection that has permeated our society and a lot of women specifically I think, that I work with. So I feel there’s a lot of the things that we and I say we because myself included, are kind of constantly evolving out of or moving away from our symptoms of this kind of world that we grew up in. And so I see a lot of this same themes, which is like I want to feel safe, I want to feel limitless. I want to feel worthy of being in my power. And so when I see that kind of over and over and over again, it just reminds me of how many of us feel that way all across the globe. So it feels more than just my own desire, it feels like more of a calling, that it’s time to expand, and move beyond my, you know, social media platform into serving more people that could benefit from that kind of medicine.

Melyssa
When you say expanding beyond your social media platform, do you have a vision of where that expansion would take place?

Saige
I don’t. I don’t even know. It’s not solidified in my mind at all. It’s just this kind of intuitive feeling? Yeah, maybe books and things like that. Yeah. Speaking. Just kind of just general expansion is just what comes to mind.

Melyssa
Yeah. Yeah, like almost more multifaceted in the way that you help people.

Saige
Yeah, absolutely. Mm hmm. I love one to ones I plan to always do them. But you know, I want to be doing maybe courses. That’s something I’ve started to play with a little bit. And I feel like if my when I expand my reach, then I can be inclusive in that way, teach the same thing but reach more people.

Melyssa
Right. Let’s hone in on because I know the next phase is a little unclear. Let’s figure out what that could look like. So you’ve got your one on one and that’s the bulk of what you do right now is one on one services.

Saige
Yes.

Melyssa
What do you love about doing one on one work with people?

Saige
I love witnessing people experiencing their connection to their higher self, or the divine. And I feel like through hypnosis, that’s what people kind of remember whatever they’re coming in for is they might have a different issue or being it’s been presenting itself but it’s always this kind of connection to their own inner knowing. And getting to hold space for that is what I love more than anything.

Melyssa
I love that. Do you think it’s possible to do that in a group setting?

Saige
I do. Yeah.

Melyssa
And would it be possible to do that in something like an online course?

Saige
Yes.

Melyssa
Would you still get the joy of seeing people in their transformation? Even if they’re watching a pre recorded course? Something like that? I would. Yeah. I would, especially if I were still maybe taking client here or there, you know, as well. Yeah.

Melyssa
Right. And what about something like speaking or writing books? Do you feel like the joy of watching someone’s transformation would translate to those mediums?

Saige
Yeah, I do. Yeah.

Melyssa
You’ve got a lot of options. And yeah. You’ve got a lot of options.

Saige
Thank you. Can I ask you a question?

Melyssa
Yeah.

Saige
So with your growth process Did you feel did it feel organic? Always? Or do you find yourself kind of pushing yourself through when you get to a plateau? Or even if you still do, I’m sure you still feel this? Or maybe you do. I don’t want to assume. I guess that’s my question is does it feel organic as you grow? Do you find yourself in these moments of being called to expand even more?

Melyssa
Hmm, definitely. Yeah, I think organic. I think it could feel inorganic, if you chose a path because you think you have to, I think I’ve more or less always pick the organic path of just, this feels good. And I’m just going to do it even if I’m not sure what’s on the other side or why it just feels like the right next step. But yeah, I think there’s always that point, regardless of where you are, where it’s kind of like, what’s next, or does this way that I’m doing it still make my soul feel excited? And so I’ve had a lot of those two of pivoting in different directions or releasing a new course or, or a new type of program. And those have all just been little like terms when something was feeling out of alignment, and I wanted to bring it back into alignment.

Saige
Mm hmm. Yeah, I think that’s something else I’m seeing because my business is relatively new. You know, I’ve only been doing this for a few years. And I’m realizing that when you’ve kind of branded yourself that there’s this consciousness of you. And then there’s a consciousness of the business and they’re different, but when it’s yourself as your business, they are kind of married in a way more maybe then a different business. So really, for me a big part of my path right now is like sorting out what’s mine, what’s the businesses and how we work together and grow together.

Melyssa
Right? Yeah, that is a really interesting thing when your brand is under your name and you’re like the person, I think the more overlap the better because then it feels more effortless. Instead of here’s the me version and here’s the business me version. But it can be an interesting dynamic when it’s under your name. Do you feel confused about how to approach that?

Saige
Hmm. No, not so much confused as, I think just it’s amazing to me how much Shadow Work you can do with your business and how much that your business can show you about yourself, especially if it’s under your name. So it’s like, you know, oh, that’s an old wound or this, you know, like little rejections or, you know, you have to put yourself out there, how do you put yourself out, you know, even like, publicly and I realized that you had kind of need to make a stand on political things and all of that. So there’s just a lot of rawness, I think in the beginning of having a business that’s very vulnerable, and at times uncomfortable, but, you know, it feels so right to be continuing to pursue it and going straight into it because I feel like that’s my calling, but there’s just wonder does that go away? Does that? Does that ever present?

Melyssa
I don’t think it goes away. But I think you get more and more equipped to be tremendously seen. That’s, that’s a lot of what it is, is like there’s nothing to hide behind. There’s no business name or entity or staff, like you’re the person being seen. And all of your values and mess and personality and quirks are being very seen. And so I think you just kind of get used to that, being on you, and and i think like you’re saying with it being a lot of shadow work and personal growth work is that you get really confident in your mess and just all of the little nuances that you bring.

Saige
Yeah,

Melyssa
Yeah.

Saige
Yeah, and doing that publicly. That’s like part of it.

Melyssa
Totally. It is an interesting dance to be part of, I think it probably creates more growth internally than if you had a business that was under a different name.

Saige
Yeah, I know. Yeah. on you.

Melyssa
Yeah, just like fast tracking your growth, which is thought of actually,

Saige
Well, I thought of that because only because I, my husband and I used to run a business together and I was hiding behind it completely. It was like I do some design stuff. So it was less designing things together. And it was because I didn’t want to come out yet with what I felt like I was supposed to. And I realized, finally, when I did that, it was so much easier to run that business where everything was aesthetic and didn’t really have to, you can just kind of hide a little bit more, which I think is works well for some people. But I think my specific calling in this lifetime, wasn’t that. So yeah, there’s some vulnerability to this work that is beautifully uncomfortable.

Melyssa
And do you notice that coming up at all when you’re thinking of raising your prices or changing the direction of your business? Yeah, totally. I mean, I, I did a coaching call recently where I was asked what I value my time like what I think I’m giving people. And I felt like the honest answer is $100,000 service because you’re going, you’re getting this connection with your higher self that you can access at any time like going into this altered state of consciousness to get this divine guidance, which I feel like so many people could use right now like we I think we are raised in a world where we’re kind of taught to give our authority out to doctors and people that know better than us. And nobody knows better than us. And so coming back to that sense of home within ourselves, I feel like it’s priceless. And I’m not charging that at all anywhere close at the moment. But I feel my kind of heart yearning to like and this understanding that people will get more value out of the work that I’m giving. If I have a higher price point, you know, the only time someone’s came back and said, Oh, I don’t know if hypnosis worked was when I did a trade. So I know the value and the reason that we have at least trade Now money is our currency I, I see the value in people investing in themselves and their growth. And I still feel a little bit scared of making the Quantum Leap of valuing this. I think I’m Who would I be serving and I, I want to continue reaching the underprivileged and not pricing myself at a point where we’re that the insights or medicine that I feel I want to contribute won’t reach certain people. So there’s some guilt or something here that’s going on. There’s some kind of separation that I haven’t resolved yet. Yeah.

Melyssa
Yeah. Thank you for sharing that. Yeah. Where do you think the guilt is coming from?

Saige
I think it’s probably inner child stuff. You know, I think it’s probably still a little little Sage that didn’t grow up with a lot of money. That’s like, don’t leave me behind.

Melyssa
Mmhmm. Right. And going back to our earlier conversation, is it possible that you wouldn’t be leaving anyone behind? Is it is it possible to set up your business where you’re charging these amazing rates, valuing your work, and you you’re not leaving anyone behind?

Saige
Yeah, absolutely. I think that if I even just saying this and having this conversation feels like something shifting in the foundation like with the intentions and I feel like if I would even just like write that down so that it’s like part of me thinks that if I went off in that direction and let my business grow, but I would forget my values, which I don’t think I ever would or could but even just saying that with you, reminds me that that’s not going to go anywhere that my intentions to serve aren’t going to disappear if I start valuing myself as a more high level coach or spiritual guide.

Melyssa
That’s so interesting. Where do you think that comes from? Who modeled to you of losing their values when they started to gain success?

Saige
That’s a good question my dad probably and just kind of what we see you know, I think our I feel like we are kind of maybe collectively moving away from this masculine idea of money into this more feminine idea of prosperity and abundance for everyone. One, hopefully that’s what I want to believe that we’re moving. So I think that as we are collectively moving there, I still kind of have a little bit of catching up to do. And really, truly valuing, like, the infinite nature of abundance and really, you know, embodying that so I can teach that. You know, that’s where I think I’m heading.

Melyssa
Right. Right. And you mentioned your dad, how did he model that to you have kind of losing himself or changing as he got successful?

Saige
So my dad is from Iran, so they fled the Iranian Revolution. And so there’s a lot of like, there was they didn’t speak English. So there when they got here, working was not as easy. They kind of lost everything they had. And that was the story. So there was a lot of funky value placed on work and receiving and all of that there’s some tangles, as you called it earlier, around that. So you know, that’s part of what was modeled to me. I feel like I’ve done some working through that, but there’s still a little there of this idea this idea that that a certain level of success would not be a healthy thing.

Melyssa
Mm hmm. And do you feel like your dad kind of lost something in that process lost his heritage or something about him? That you witnessed sort of a before and after?

Saige
As far as like with success? I feel like he had to sacrifice. Yeah, I feel like he had to sacrifice a lot or he thought he did to work here or to be successful. It wasn’t modeled to me at least as a child to see like, I didn’t have any like, especially specifically women, like embodied entrepreneurial women that were in their success and overflowing and sharing. That that hasn’t been modeled to me. So when you asked at the beginning of this call, if I could see the next step, I think that’s part of the mystery for me is not having that been model. You know, I feel like I’m kind of carving this path on my own. Maybe I need a coach.

Melyssa
Maybe or community? Yeah. Yeah, it sounds like it was almost like what was modeled to you is when you gain success, you retreat more, because that’s how you hold on to it instead of this overflow of generosity and community. And yeah, and I can see how that would influence the way that you think about this next stage. It’s almost like you’re at this point that your dad was at, or that other people in your life that model this to you are at, it’s like going to go past this point right now. Then I might retreat and become that person.

Saige
Mm hmm.

Melyssa
But what if you don’t? What if you were modeled that as a way to show you what you don’t want to do?

Saige
Mm hmm.

Melyssa
A sentence of this is who you have to be.

Saige
Yeah, I absolutely believe that.

Melyssa
Do you have people in your life who are modeling this other version of generosity and as I grow, you grow kind of mentality?

Saige
I do. Have a wonderful network of entrepreneurial women around me have beautiful values. I do. Yeah. It’s fun to kind of grow all together.

Melyssa
And are some of them beyond you and their growth?

Saige
Yes.

Melyssa
And what is that experience like to see people who have gotten to the next phase and are leading with generosity?

Saige
It’s inspiring and it does remind me of just what we were saying earlier about how you can expand your reach when you expand into your potential that you actually have more you’re not leaving people behind because you’re, you’re not as spread thin, first of all, energetically. And then there’s also that that energetic charge of inspiration, I feel like that allows you to like, give more when you’re feeling like you’re actually valuing your worth. Yeah, more doesn’t mean less. I think that’s the old program. More does not mean less for others. More means more can mean more for all of us. And I think that’s not modeled to us in the 1% in our world.

Melyssa
Mm hmm. Yeah. And I like to call those contracts because it sounds like there’s this unconscious or maybe conscious because you are thinking about it, contract that you’ve created, of more, if I have more then it means other people have less. What are some of the other contracts that you have around this topic of growth and getting to the next level impacting more people?

Saige
Well, it’s an unconscious contract do you think I might have that could be unconscious or

Melyssa
It could be conscious, but kind of an if I do this, then this is going to happen.

Saige
Let me see. I think that there’s always this little voice in the back of my head of like, just the wanting something a theme in my life that I’m always moving beyond just the people pleasing and wanting to be digestible to everyone. And honestly, the medicine that I came to with in this lifetime is not digestible to everyone it’s kind of shamanic and it’s not going to be understood by my aunt or my grandma. Possibly, maybe it well, I don’t know, but I haven’t felt like I’ve fully come out of the closet. And so there’s a little bit of probably old witch wounds or something that it’s like I if I come out completely as myself and my beliefs and what I’m here to embody then I’m going to disappoint some people that have this other vision of me which you know, what that but that there is that a little bit embedded in my subconscious I think, which is you know, I can see it I can see myself working through it but when you ask that I realized that’s still in there a little bit this like I want to be a good girl you know, yeah.

Melyssa
Yeah, I think that’s a big one. Are there any others that come to you? And we’ll come back to them.

Saige
Okay. So well, you asked me the question once more last time you did that triggered something right away.

Melyssa
Yeah. Yeah. So kind of thinking of the contracts that you’ve signed with yourself. And you can think of them as an if then if I do this, okay, this will happen.

Saige
Okay, so another one is, if I grow beyond my wildest dreams, I won’t have time for my family anymore. I won’t have time to spend with my babies, gardening. I’ll be too busy. Which is not true.

Melyssa
Yeah, we’ll talk about truth. Okay. Yeah. And let me know if there’s anything else that comes up for you.

Saige
Okay, blanking now. That was it. Okay. Yeah.

Melyssa
So those are some big ones. So that’s good. Yeah. Great. Okay, so if I come out completely, and just share my full self, my spirituality, my witchiness. I’m going to disappoint people. They’re going to accept me If I grow beyond my wildest dreams, that I won’t have time for my family anymore, like gardening and be with your babies and all the things. So let’s talk a little bit about truth. So if you come out completely, to share this full version of yourself and your work and your beliefs. Mm hmm. Is it true that you would disappoint?

Saige
Yeah, probably. That’s okay.

Melyssa
Yeah, what would happen if you disappointed those people?

Saige
Well, I would either trigger them in a healthy way for them. Because nothing about me has anything to do with you know, well, I’m not here to to not rock the boat. I would probably weed out people who I’m not here to serve. And that’s a big one for me because I’ve noticed that as I become more vocal and grow a little bit that people do like to voice when they think that you’re doing wrong or just the the whole troll thing which feels new to me is like, like an owy. We don’t want that but just gaining that resiliency of like, not taking it personally and allowing people to have their hurts or their disappointments that without feeling like I need to change who I am to prevent that their truth. Okay. Yeah.

Melyssa
Right. And for the trolley people will come back to disappointing people in a second but for the trolling people, it’s like, they might just not be ready to receive what you’re, you’re creating. And so I think of it as like a cleansing when those people are sort of triggered by what you’re doing and then they leave. It’s like, Okay, I’m cleansing the people who are not ready for what I’m putting out there.

Saige
Yeah. That’s it.

Melyssa
Yeah, it can be confronting when you get these mean comments, but yeah, it’s not everyone’s ready to meet you where you are.

Saige
Mm hmm.

Melyssa
And when you think about disappointing people, are there any people specifically in your life now or who were in your life previously, that you’re afraid of disappointing if you really just fully came out the closet? Hmm. Yeah, again, it’s like, it’s funny. My Iranian side of the family comes up just with completely different Muslim beliefs. And even though I feel like I’ve done a lot of the work to detach, there’s still a little bit of this wanting to explain myself, which doesn’t need to happen. But yeah, that’s what came to mind is just this specifically, people who have a completely different way of seeing the world. And I do. Yeah, so I feel like them specifically but I can also manifest in clients or other random people that I guess what I want to retire in myself is the need to feel like I have to explain myself and to just embody it and magnetize. And I’m starting to get to really, truly just embody it and magnetize who I meant to and not want to explain myself to somebody who’s not ready or not interested in receiving. That’s why I think I’m kind of moving away from like this really hypnosis work, sorry, you know, moving away from needing to explain this, you know, other kind of these other realms and metaphysical realms, and really just kind of embody who I am and what I’m sharing and let myself grow in that way. And then knowing that all tract probably even more people that are aligned with me if I’m actually being fully authentic and editing myself, which I think I still have a little filter Yeah. And it seems like those are the dreamy clients who’d be willing to even pay you more to. Or they already get it. No, yeah. You. Oh, yeah. What’s at stake if you don’t embody that? You keep editing yourself.

Saige
When I when you asked that I just saw this image of like, like a net over a woman, maybe me just like feeling trapped, and just not just needing to break free from that. okay to not play small. trapped. That’s the that’s the energy that I felt. Yeah, it seems like the impact you could create when you’re trapped in a net when you’re free fish. Yeah. Mm hmm.

Saige
Can I ask you a question?

Melyssa
Yeah.

Saige
Did you feel like it Your career growth. Do you feel like you had moments where you needed to take off the mask even further to get to your next level?

Melyssa
Yeah, pretty sure. I think that is kind of the whole. It’s kind of the whole point. It was in a mastermind that I was in and of all people. For this conversation, Grant Cardone was one of the speakers. And I asked him because he has like 100 million dollar business or something like that. And he was talking about how you went from 1 million to 10 million to 100 million and all the things and I asked him, What do you think, moved the needle, that you were able to make those leaps to the next level and the next level and he said, I just had to become more and more myself. And I really resonate with that message and have seen it shown up in my own life to where my growth and really my fulfillment may impact my joy, in business in life, but in business, since that’s what we’re talking about comes specifically from leaning deeper into myself and my truth and taking the masks off. I think there’s a lot of masks. And you only find the next one, when you take off the previous one, you know, it’s like, you have to go in this this order. I think it sounds like there are some masks that are nets or however you want to think about it. They’re kind of keeping you in this place where you can’t even envision the next level. But I feel like you’re getting there.

Saige
Yeah, I definitely feel like it’s, you know, the clarity of vision is there in the calling is there is it really is that just finding the courage I got a book called the courage to be disliked that I haven’t read yet. And it really is for me this next level of being okay, with not being liked by some. And really, I think the statistic in that book was like out of every 10 people, one person will really like you. Two of them will be neutral. And the rest will not like or no two will dislike you and the rest of it will be neutral, which is a nice statistic to think about is that like, We’re not here to be digested or received or adored by everyone. We’re here to be, you know, connect and activate each other, specifically few with people around the world. And then there’s a bunch that are not four. And there are some, inevitably nobody’s going to be liked by all of us, let’s say I think for me, it’s really like this next level of not caring so much how I’m received by people. And if I misunderstood, or I think that’s the biggest part. As I’m talking, I’m realizing the biggest part of my fear of being misperceived as being perceived as just not kind or not ethical. It’s just like, that idea haunts me to think of other people misperceiving what I’m saying, which, I want to let that go, you know,

Melyssa
yeah, yeah. And it’s so easy to say like It’s not about me, it’s about them, or their projection of me has nothing to do with me. But really like dig into that being true than it really is. Because if you think about somebody who reads your post, or even works with you, or knows you personally and doesn’t like you, there’s so many layers under why that would be. Maybe you reminded them of a friend they had in elementary school who like betrayed them. And they don’t even know that consciously, but just, you’re just a trigger for them. Or maybe the way that you talk about things is different than how they were trained to talk about things. And so they don’t like you for that because they weren’t. They weren’t trained on how to hold different perspectives at the same time. And it’s like, you can kind of follow these different paths of why somebody wouldn’t like you beyond just that you suck and you’re terrible. It’s usually not because of that. It’s actually never because of that because it’s all just a projection. Yeah, no, I find that Thinking of it that way of like, it’s not just because I’m terrible. It’s because I’m reflecting something to them.

Saige
Mm hmm.

Melyssa
And that’s not mine to hold. No.

Saige
I love how Byron Katie says like, that’s not your business. Not your business, other people’s perceptions is not It’s none of your business. You know, that’s what I tell myself anyway. So, yeah, I guess I didn’t realize until stepping into a little bit more leadership, just how vulnerable it could be. To show up as yourself.

Melyssa
Yeah, yeah.

Saige
Yeah, here.

Melyssa
Well, I guess easier is negotiable. But it’s simpler to wear a mask and kind of blend in, edit yourself, like you were saying, but it’s more fun when liberating you are. Yeah, yeah.

Saige
Yeah, so liberating. It’s funny because I look at my kids now. My daughter’s four and my son is almost two and they’re just so themselves and I’m like when do we start putting on those masks? To cope for? Yeah.

Melyssa
Mm hmm. Interesting. Mm hmm. Yeah. And one of your other contracts if I grow beyond my wildest dreams, I won’t have time for my family anymore.

Saige
Mm hmm.

Melyssa
What makes you think that that could be sure.

Saige
I think so. That’s a big one for me, just because I feel like it wasn’t modeled to me successful entrepreneurship, strong women leadership wasn’t modeled to me and my family by not, I can’t think of anyone. And so I haven’t seen it. And you know, grew up with a single mom who had to work so hard. And so her work took away time from being with family, and I have beautiful memories of being, you know, the time that we spent was so beautiful together, though, I think that that’s still there’s still some belief system that work takes away time spent with family. So there’s this idea in my mind is like getting to a certain level of success, that you’re too busy that you’re kind of at this hyper max. masculine like, go go go mode, which I don’t think is true, not with the type of business that I’m building. And I think as I’m talking about it, I can see how if I were to value myself at the rates that I feel called to, that would actually create more time freedom and more energy for me to invest into both the people that I want to reach into my family. So it’s really like this time for me to take a step. I just don’t know what that next step is. Exactly.

Melyssa
Hmm. Sounds like you just said it.

Saige
Did I? What did I say? I was everything your rate? Yeah, yeah. Good.

Melyssa
And that was just the next step. You don’t have to have it all figured out. Yeah. After this, like complex thing. You could literally just be raising your prices. And then maybe after you do that, and you communicate that to your people, your clients then then the next step will reveal itself.

Saige
Yeah, it’s all ready to go. Can I ask you one more question?

Melyssa
Yeah, of course. S

Saige
So with your business, do you feel like you’re always just taking that next step? And then the next step? Or do you feel like you kind of cast this big vision and then start embodying it step by step?

Melyssa
I think it’s both. I think there have been moments where I was just taking a step and didn’t really know what was next. My mantra has always been to just move in the direction of what feels good, even if I don’t know why, or what was unfolding completely. It’s just like, I know that this feels aligned. So I’m going to do it. Now. I see the larger vision of the next few years, but I’m also very flexible about things moving and changing. So like, I hold the vision of what I want it to look like. But I also know it’s probably gonna look totally different.

Saige
Yeah.

Melyssa
Yeah. I do deeply believe that you have to take a step in the direction of your alignment, and then the other steps start to present themselves, but they don’t present themselves until you start moving in that direction.

Saige
I love that step in the direction of alignment. That’s really beautiful.

Melyssa
Hmm. What spoke to me about what you said too, is that you hadn’t seen this version of success modeled to you, with your family especially, it’s like, you either saw the working all the time, not really time for family or working and then sort of retreating, and not being open with that time for family or generosity. And so, it almost feels like this mentality of Well, that’s what I saw. So that’s what is, and so how can you open yourself up more to creating your own reality around this topic around what it looks like to be a mom and grow a successful business and have time for them?

Saige
I think, as you say that I had this inkling of, I’ve noticed that when my business started to do better When I finally started investing in mentorship and coaching, and I feel like there’s this coach out there for me right now that’s another that’s an entrepreneur that I feel like I’m being called as I’m being called to raise my rates to also raise my investment and to myself to kind of to be taking the steps in the direction instead of completely trying to do everything on my own to get even just this call like this being open to some guidance and being open to that kind of even just when you as soon as you say your vulnerability out loud, it doesn’t seem to have the same hole anymore. So that could be a step to get more of that clear vision in my mind.

Melyssa
I love that. Yeah, I could see it as working with a coach or a mastermind where you’re in a group of people. Mm hmm. thing where it’s just expanding what seemed possible. Yeah, this new definition of possibility. Not can be hard when we don’t have that model to To us consistently. Like we can create the vision but then if everything we’re seeing doesn’t support that vision, they really have to be firm and our vision and imagination, but if you can find a community or coach or person friends even that model that to you consistently, then I think that makes all the difference.

Saige
Yeah, I think so too. I kind of have to see it to believe it.

Melyssa
Yeah, yeah. Mm hmm.

Saige
Yeah, a mastermind is definitely calling. Do you currently still work with coaches and mentors? I do.

Melyssa
Yeah. I always, generally have a coach that I’m working with. Maybe not always consistently, like weekly, but I always have someone in my back pocket. Just nice to have someone on your team and advocating for your visions. Mm hmm. Yeah. And as you grow a team to that they are part of that vision to holding the torch with you. And that can be part of almost the same thing to get from a mastermind of like having those people who are right alongside you.

Saige
How beautiful. Yeah.

Melyssa
And that’s what you’re creating.

Saige
Yeah. Thank you.

Melyssa
So how do you feel now about all the things that we talked about? I know we went on a lot of different paths. I just feel very inspired. It’s amazing what the medicine of just saying things out loud and hearing your beautiful reflections to, you know, look at things in different ways. And yeah, I feel inspired.

Melyssa
Good. Do you feel more capable believing of the next phase? The next step? I know that that was a big part of our conversation is what does the next step look like? I do.

Saige
Yeah. Yeah. I love that the step in the direction of alignment I think sometimes with business, it’s easy to think about. Think, first of all, think about all the things that you need to do and then remembering to like, go back into that feeling. And like what feels the most aligned move back into that place and lean? You know, from that like heart centered place rather than that over intellectualized. This is what a business needs, you know, overthinking it. So yeah, I do I love that step in the direction of alignment.

Melyssa
And do you have a sense of what that next step would be for you, if you were stepping in the direction of alignment?

Saige
I think I want to do a mastermind and get myself around just more people or mastermind or coach around more people that are embodying it. And, you know, creating that kind of force that vortexof energy.

Melyssa
I love that. I think that would make such a tremendous difference.

Saige
Yeah.

Melyssa
Beautiful.

Keep Reading

Hey! I’m
Melyssa Griffin

I believe that an unstoppable mindset can be your #1 business tactic. So, my job is to lead you back to yourself and to help you reprogram the limiting beliefs and patterns that are keeping you small. 

Around these parts, I share my best business secrets, as well as help you cultivate a life of true freedom, purpose, and fun. I’m also big on bear hugs, anything unconventional and creative, and teaching people like you how to live an abundant and limitless life. Let’s get weird.

THE GIRL BEHIND THE BLOG

Limitless Life™ Podcast

with 

MELYSSA GRIFFIN

The Top 100 “personal development for entrepreneurs” podcast that teaches you how to grow your business by reprogramming the patterns and beliefs that keep you stuck.

TELL ME MORE

LIMITLESS LIFE™ HAS 700+ 5-STAR REVIEWS! 

LISTEN ON SPOTIFY

LISTEN ON ITUNES

LISTEN ON STITCHER

THE PODCAST

“I can’t recommend this podcast and Melyssa enough. I pivoted my business and I’m now coaching, creating courses, and living my limitless life! The words you’ll hear will change your life!”

- Jen

“Loved how raw and heart-centered it was, every few seconds I would nod my head because it resonated so much. Highly recommend if you’re looking for more purpose, passion and well-being in your life!”

- YunzheZhou

“A daily reminder towards greatness... Listening to these podcast episodes are the highlight of my day. It’s my rock and anchor in a chaotic storm of trying to better my life. So so thankful for it!”

- Rosenthorn

Unapologetic Results for Your Business + Mindset

Over 20,000 digital entrepreneurs from around the world have taken my top-rated online courses to step into their next level of leadership and cash money. Ready to grow?

LEARN WITH MELYSSA

Nana Yaa

PINFINITE GROWTH STUDENT

My Courses:

Anjali

PROFITABLE CREATOR STUDENT

EMILY

EMAIL LIST ACADEMY STUDENT

What’s stopping you from making more money, reaching your goals, and bringing your big dreams to life? It’s probably your relationship with money. Answer a few key questions and you’ll get instant access to a customized path to step into more abundance and ease.

TAKE THE QUIZ

Discover Your Money Magnetism Archetype

free quiz!

WHAT'S YOUR MONEY MAGNETISM ARCHETYPE?